never had an orgasm, help please

tinimini · 05-11-2007, 02:36 AM

I really need some help. Never had an orgasm before, never pleasured oneself before. Now I am with a really wonderful amazing person, I can get him going but I can't get myself to that point. We are both new to this sex thing. I'm not into oral, well at least for now. I've only had sex a few times, recently just lost my virginity. Even when he trys to please me, I can't relax enough and even if I am relaxed it feels good but not to a point that I can really enjoy it. My questions are, how long will this take for me to have an orgasm? I really want to have one, especially with him. and its not that I don't like having sex, its just I don't think I am feeling what I should be feeling. Also I have Crohn's can that effect sex, if your rectum has scar tissue. Becuase i feel a lot of pressure on that area. I am also on birth control. If those are the reasons for me not enjoy sex to its full potential, then I think I am screwed!

woodyman · 05-11-2007, 04:08 AM

I am not sure what Crohns is, but first thing that kits me is that you are probably very concious of this scar tissure you mentioned.

Until you feel safe enough to maybe not worry about what he thinks, (I mean if you trust him and are not worried that he may be thinking anything about it), then it will be hard enough to let your body relax to a point where you can climax.

You have to do whatever it is that allows yourself to be relaxed. Maybe let him explore all your body, let him make you feel calm and happy and sexy about yourself. I think only then will you maybe be able to let go of your worry, and enjoy your sex up to that point.

Good luck.

tarheel247 · 05-11-2007, 11:33 AM

it takes a while to get use to. took me years before i had an orgasm with my stbxh. as you get older, more mature and more exp'd you will start to enjoy it more. you have to be comfortable with yourself before you are comfy with your SO. self pleasure will help with that if you can bring yourself to try it...

woodyman · 05-11-2007, 12:15 PM

Yeah thats a good thing to try because you will go through all the build up, imagine a fantasy and pleasure yourself.

You will know the feeling, what the build up feelings are like and just experience everything.

Good luck and enjoy it

Gurv · 05-11-2007, 02:12 PM

You definitely should learn to pleasure yourself in the privacy of your own bedroom. This way there is noone to judge, no "weird" feelings of awkwardness to hinder you. There are good books out there....one is called the Joy of self love....you could get one and learn about your own sexuality and self pleasure.

Once you are comfortable with your own self and can masterbate yourself to orgasm, it will be so much easier for your boyfriend to do it. Keep in mind, that a LARGE percentage of women cannot have an orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone....they need help with clitoral stimulation and oral definitelyl helps work yourself up to the "edge".

Good luck!
Skarn