guys behavior...confused!!

leilani3202 · 06-29-2007, 12:58 PM

Ok, I know guys think with the wrong head and are sexual animals and like to look and flirt. so how far do guys take it when they are in a relationship? my bf has a friend whos a girl. their personalities get along and they like to joke with eachother. he says not attracted to her, thinks shes fat, and would never date her. is that joking like flirting? would a guy take that to the next level or is it just harmless? then last night my bf, our roomie(a guy), and i were talking. my bf was telling us he got c*ck blocked yesterday at work when he was talking to the new girl(who he has previously said is pretty good looking). a fellow co-worker came in and started asking him how his girlfriend(me) was doing and how his son is, etc. well this upset my bf that he was c*ck blocked. i was like, why were you hitting on her or something, you have a girlfriend, why should it matter? he said no matter what guys arent supposed to do that to eachother...is this true? i really dont see why it would matter that he was blocked unless he was trying to persue her?! i dont know, i dont understand guys and their behavior. also, i know guys like to look at naked girls, so when he has a porn magazine in the bathroom(which i happend to find last night without him knowing) does that mean anything against me? im insecure with my body and feel that hes looking at those because those girls have what i dont have...

happymom28 · 06-29-2007, 01:27 PM

I think what you are asking really all varies depending on the guy involved. There are some men out there who can have "harmless" female friends and you can be very secure in the fact that it will never go to the next level. Then you have the ones who pursue these friendships as a means to have progress to something more. It's very hard to generalize all guys into one category.

My husband has a female friend he is close with. They talk and they enjoy his company but he doesn't "flirt" with her. I think there is a difference. There may be a fine line between the two, but there is a difference. Your boyfriend shouldn't be flirting with her 1) because she is a "friend" and 2)because it is disrespectful to you and your relationship. How do you feel about it?

If I were you it would bother me that he was worried about another coworker mentioning you and his child in front of an attractive female. Why should that be a big deal? I mean, my husband is around women all the time with his job and they all know about me and our girls. What is he trying to hide? It just seems ridiculous to me that if he is in a relationship that he should care about what she thinks.

With the magazine as well, it all depends on how you feel. If you are bothered by finding it then it is a problem that you should address with him. I know that my husband will look at porn on occassion, and most of the time it is with me. But I am okay with it and he doesn't hide it from me. He doesn't have a stash in the bathroom. The fact that he is hiding from you isn't a good thing. He should be able to be honest with you.

I think that you need to figure out how you feel about all of this and talk to him about it. If something bothers you then it should be dealt with. If you don't see eye to eye about some of these things then you may want to rethink your relationship. You should be with someone who has the same morals and values as you and not have to compromise your's to be with them.

rosequartz · 06-29-2007, 01:39 PM

your BF is disrespectful towards you and IMO he's looking for the BBD (bigger, better, deal).....why else would he be worried about being "blocked" ?
also he sounds immature....that's gameplaying stuff that high school kids do.....
also have you seen the girl who he says is "unattractive and fat"? I'm guessing she's neither.....that's what guys tell their girlfriends so they don't worry

I'd dump his butt and not look back
he's disrespecting you and if you continue to let him, you're disrespecting yourself.

leilani3202 · 06-29-2007, 01:40 PM

he had brought up porn the other night. apparently some guy at work handed down some porn to him and he asked me if i wanted to watch it with him. so he didnt hide that. the magazines did look dusty(they are on top of a cabinet). so i dont know when the last he looked at it was or how often he looks at it.
when it was first brought up that he has an attractive new co worker he mentioned that she went to my school and graduated around the same time as me. he was all, i should ask if she knows you. ok, well apparently he didnt. i dont know how to bring that it bothered me that he was upset up being blocked without looking insecure and being a nagging gf. im already giving him enough grief about his lady friend and i dont want to excalate things, but i do feel this should be addressed. when i tried to talk about it in that moment he was just like, it doesnt matter the circumstances, guys dont do that eachother. thats all he could say and all he wanted to argue about. so how do i bring it up and discuss it in a calm manner and not let things get heated between us and cause problems?
hes been in long relationships before, i dont think hes ever had a short one. i dont think he would ever cheat on me as i dont believe he has ever cheated in the past. but i am very insecure so of course i still worry.

rosequartz · 06-29-2007, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by leilani3202

he had brought up porn the other night. apparently some guy at work handed down some porn to him and he asked me if i wanted to watch it with him. so he didnt hide that. the magazines did look dusty(they are on top of a cabinet). so i dont know when the last he looked at it was or how often he looks at it.
when it was first brought up that he has an attractive new co worker he mentioned that she went to my school and graduated around the same time as me. he was all, i should ask if she knows you. ok, well apparently he didnt. i dont know how to bring that it bothered me that he was upset up being blocked without looking insecure and being a nagging gf. im already giving him enough grief about his lady friend and i dont want to excalate things, but i do feel this should be addressed. when i tried to talk about it in that moment he was just like, it doesnt matter the circumstances, guys dont do that eachother. thats all he could say and all he wanted to argue about. so how do i bring it up and discuss it in a calm manner and not let things get heated between us and cause problems?

what's there to bring up? he doesn't respect you, are you going to try to talk him into respecting you? get rid of him!