Men just confuse me - any advice?

farceur66 · 07-05-2007, 09:29 PM

Hello,

I have been working at the same company as this one guy for 7 months. Since we are in different departments we see each other around the building, say hi and just general conversation. I have always kind of had a liking for this guy and I felt he liked me too. You know when a guy brightens up when he sees you and goes out of his way to walk by your desk. Well about a week ago he jokingly said I cut him off while driving home (actually not even sure that really happened) ... well that started us emailing each other. First started as a joke about my driving, which then transformed into him tell me he thought I was beautiful (was said after I expressed I needed to lose my excess weight).

We exchanged phone numbers, he called the same night I gave him my number, which happened to be a Friday night. He asked me if it would be alright if he called Saturday and I said yes. Well he never called all weekend and of course I was not going to call. On Monday he emailed me saying sorry he did not call but went to a BBQ, got a little drunk and was out of it on Sunday. I told him that was fine and didnt make a deal out of it. He continued walking by my desk (for no reason at all), flirted with me and sent me emails so all seemed normal again - - he even stated that he would like to spend some time with me this week since I had Wednesday-Sunday off work. I said that would be fine.

Well here it is on Thursday and still no call from him. He was originally using a pay by minute cell phone (I wasnt aware of that till he told me he was out of minutes) and told me Monday he was having a home phone installed and it should probably be hooked up this week. I will also add he is probably not rolling in the money so maybe he is waiting for payday or struggling with other issues in his life ... all I know is I am making excuses when in all actuallity if he was interested he would find a way to call... right? I am just confused by the male behaviour - - act real interested but no call. I realize the weekend is not over but come on... geesh! He was only supposed to come over and look at my new apartment - - no food was to be bought. What do you all think

Seraph · 07-05-2007, 10:19 PM

This waiting for him to call is a total pain. It is rude to say that you will call and then not do it. If he does this again this time, and has some lame excuse, then he is probably either not as into you as he thought, or is totally unreliable therefore bad news anyway. Imagine this stuff happening all through a relationship! Grrrr. Sera

marie72 · 07-06-2007, 12:33 AM

Sounds to me that he is interested, but that other things are also happening in his life. If he was 100% into you, he would make plans, not say he will call you or that you should spend some time together, he would actually make plans. Seems like he is putting you on hold, while he decides what he wants to do with his time. Not to say that once he gets to know you, he will spend more time with you. Right now he is keeping his options opened and if nothing comes up then he'll call you. Don't wait for him, keep busy and socialize with others and if he calls, you may or may not be available, but a least your not sitting around waiting for him. And please don't ever mention anything negative about yourself to a guy, you have to present complete self-confidence. They see what their looking at and if he's flirting, he likes what he sees!!!!! Good Luck! and don't sweat it he will come around.....

farceur66 · 07-06-2007, 05:21 AM

From many years of dating I have learned that I should always put my best foot forward and never would display negative things about myself (not alot of negative to say to be honest with you

Even though I was a little shocked and hurt he did not call last weekend, I did not show that to him. I acted cool with it.

I can tell he is still very interested, even more so now since we talked on the phone BUT I get a feeling he is working on some issue as well right now.

I have also learned that one should never wait while they sit on the back burner. Life will go on as normal for me. Just sucks when you have had a secret crush on a guy for almost a year, get excited when numbers are finally exchanged only to play the silent waiting game.

Bad Company · 07-06-2007, 02:40 PM

Farceur

Sounds shady. Could be anything, but as a guy (havign done it myself) and knowing my friends its one of two things. Either he is already seeing someone else and thats why he gets sidetracked so easily. Or he is not really that interested and maybe only looking for some physical fun.

If he were single and not seeing anyone, I would expect he would be more aggressive in his pursuit, considering the invitation was already offered to see each other.