Advice/Help from anyone

worriedconfused · 07-06-2007, 08:11 PM

Im pretty new at this, so if anyone can shed some light on my situation it will be greatly appreciated, okay here it goes. I have been with this girl for almost two years now and about a year ago we found out that she has genital herpes which we are sure came from my mouth, which I had no idea I even had. We are both extremly commited to seeing this through as best we can, we are both fairly young (19 & 22). I am the only person she has been with sexually so again I feel even more commited to her, and helping in anyway I can. She has only had one very minor out break since the first one and it was about 5 months ago with one small blister.

Since finding out about the herpes a year ago, we have not had any sexual intercourse in fear of harming me in anyway. We very rarely will have oral sex ( once on her, 10 times on me ) over the past year. It feels as though we are always reduced to "dry" sex with some sort of clothing on. This is very hard on both of us as we want to express our feelings for one another, but are worried about hurting me. Our Love for one another has grown in so many different ways since then, but obviously this is one part we both miss and would like back.

We have talked about her going on Valtrex, again I dont know if this will all help or not. If we take the proper percautions such as Valtrex, Condoms, Making sure there are no out breaks, should we be worried about harming me? I have heard about Viral Shedding? which didnt make much sense. For anyone who can help, should I be worried about expressing myself to her in the ways I would like to? Or am I always going to be at risk?

Thanks for any help,
Worried confused

pockets · 07-07-2007, 03:13 AM

I am pretty new at this but, what I've read is that if she is on suppressive therapy, and you use condoms and avoid intimacy during an outbreak, there is less than a 4% chance of passing it on per year. If I am wrong please correct me, but again that is what I've read. Be cautious and enjoy life.

Pockets

lisa29 · 07-07-2007, 06:16 AM

If you have had intercourse with somebody before your current girlfriend you may be a carrier and not know it. which means you had it already and gave it to her.. best way to find out is for you both to be tested.

this may not be the case though but if it is your missing out on some fun..

worriedconfused · 07-07-2007, 06:23 PM

Thanks for your replies, that is really great to learn this information. Did you guys learn this stuff from self research or did you go to a clinic and speak with a specialist. Also where do you get these blood tests? Are they always right, I think I heard that its really hard to detect for sure if you even have herpies at all? Is it at a clinic or a doctors office? Also about Valtrex, is it covered by insurance? Thanks again for your help and any other information is greatly appreciated.