Baby Showers

[Mindoo]

I had a "challenging" experince last night. I went shopping with my sister's best friend (SBF) to buy decorations for my sister's baby shower. We are co-hosting the event. I have know this woman most of my life; however she is my sister's best friend not mine. I like her, but I have never developed a close bond with her. I also know from my sister that they (my SBF & her dh)had tried to conceive for several years and they were close to the end of their rope when she found out she was pregnant. However, since officially, I wasn't supposed to know about this, I couldn't discuss it with her. I'm also pretty sure my sister probably told her about me. (But I don't know how much my sister told her.) We were in the party supply store, and my SBF kept saying "We can come here to pick out things for your shower." I never responded, I really didn't know what to say, and the fact she kept saying it made me uncomfortable.

By the time we left the store, I was about ready to cry. Some part of me felt that the "baby shower" shopping trip for me might never happen. The other part of me was mad at myself for not figuring out how to open a line of discussion with her. We have a common expereince we could have shared. Some part of me thought since she had a hard time herself, she would be more sensitive to talking about future baby showers.

Well, I have to go down early next Saturday to help her set-up. If she brings up the subject again, I still haven't figured out what to say. The only thing I've figured out to do is to keep the conversation steered in another direction.

Any ideas about how to reply to her?

And Yes, I want to attend the baby shower. I have three wonderful nieces, and I can't wait for my first nephew to arrive. I'm very excited for my little sister.

[nela]

Hi there!

Gosh this is a difficult one! I would probably be quite blunt at this point and say something like "We're working on it!" and change the subject. That's what I usually say to people who ask (who I'm not close to)..

However, if you really want to benefit from her experiences, be open and ask her if she has any advice for you. Most people who have gone through a similar experience want to help you out and discuss things, but don't quite know how to broach the subject.. I suspect she just wanted to prompt you. I'm pretty sure she knows about your difficulties because your sister told her. After all, she (sis) told YOU about her buddy, right, so she’s not the best secret keeper!

Wait until she hints again, and then just say "any tips?" in a friendly way. This way you put her on the spot! She will have to take the plunge if she wants to start up the conversation with you.
Hope it works! http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Nela

[Mindoo]

Excellent idea, Nela! Thank you! Mindy