My mom is waiting for something....

dolejaly · 08-15-2009, 12:17 PM

Two weeks ago my mom was placed in the hospital w/ breathing and swelling difficulties, she is overweight to begin w/ and is diagnosed w/ congestive heart disease, diabetic, but during her first week stay at the hospital they tried to reduce the fluid level and put her into rehab to regain her muscles so she can be able to care for her self, during this time she was then DX w/ COPD and the Dr. informed us that there is nothing they can do she was not responding to medicines and such, so to make a long story short the family was left to make a choice of life support and then possibly a trach or just let her go being her life would never be the same and we would be just avoiding the inevitable.....my family chose to let her go and called in Hospice.....This now is on day 3 and she is still holding on w/ no medications for her illness's just morphine to comfort her..but she is still holding onto something and won't let go, the Dr is very surprised she made it this long, but the problem is we have one brother that is not here w/ her right now, he is incarcerated and is to be released Aug. 26Th and that is all she talked about prior, could it be that?

There are 7 of us and I am the one most likely the family will not listen to, most are all older, I'm 45, but I feel that is so important to my mom, even a phone call if not arrange and pay for a visit which some prison systems do, but I have a brother that was suppose to take care of that but his feeling are a lot differently about the visit, phone call, etc and is ignoring our moms wishes for his own personal reasons....What can I do?..I know that is something that is very important to my mom and I want to be able to give her the final thing that she could be waiting for, but at the same time don't want to over step the family and cause more problems than there already are when you have something like this and a big family..The bickering now is unreal, do I add more fuel to the fire and just over step it and just do it?

pendulum · 08-16-2009, 07:49 AM

Talk to her doctor, if you haven't done so yet. An order from a doctor has to be accepted.

Titchou · 08-17-2009, 04:19 PM

Call your brother's attorney and get his opinion as to whether a compassionate release could be arranged. He'll know if it's possible and then follow his advice.

dolejaly · 08-18-2009, 09:25 AM

I was able to reach the prison and they were very sympathetic and was going to push a call into my moms room for my brother so he could say his good byes and my mom could hear that, but after all of that my older siblings felt that was no longer something that needed done for reasons of their own opinion w/ my brother. I was pushing for this for my mom, not my brother, but I was not authorised to give release of information from the Dr. so I had to depend upon them. I did tell my mom yesterday morning that I tried, and nothing more I could do, I told her I loved her and she needed to rest and to let go.....She passed away yesterday at 6

m...

At least I do feel better that she knows I tried and would have been able to give her the final wish she wanted and was waiting for but, it was out of my hands onto my older siblings.

pendulum · 08-18-2009, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dolejaly

... I did tell my mom yesterday morning that I tried, and nothing more I could do, I told her I loved her and she needed to rest and to let go.....She passed away yesterday at 6

m...

At least I do feel better that she knows I tried and would have been able to give her the final wish she wanted and was waiting for but, it was out of my hands onto my older siblings.

Oh, I'm sorry for your mother, but you have done a great job in every aspect and could be proud of yourself, if that was adequate for the moment.