Loss of the person that i loved..my mom

[jolliena]

My life was perfect till that day.I had a beautiful family,i finished college,i got engaged and everything went right when a morning believing that everything was ok and i suddenly learn that mom had a heart attack and she didnt make it.For about a week i was in my own world,ι i was taking tranquilizer pills,i was crying etc.After a week i was thinking that i cant keep movin like this and i tried to continue my life from where i left her before mom leaves us.
It is very difficult..i realised that she is gone and i "accepted" this.I decided that this is something that i have to deal this on my own and i dont think that anyone can really understand me..i just talk about it if and whenever i want and thats it.I cant cry since that week,i dont think that if i cry she ll come back.I dont want to think about her because that hurts me a lot and i do everything not to think about her.I cant see a picture and i dont have anywhere in my house her picture because i dont think that i need the pic to remember her cos she lives in my hurt and i dont know that even if i realised the fact that she's gone i think that if i have a pic in my house its like accepting this and i m not ready.Everyday i count the days from the last day that we talked on the phone..i do everything not to think about her because the pain is too big and i cant handle him but this i cant stop it.I miss her,i miss her lot.She was everything for me..mom,best friend,sister(and i have a sister)..and i lost her.
I need someone to tell me if all these are normal...what i have to do.Someone who knows exactly how i feel cos he passed the same situation.

thank you

[jolliena]

Originally Posted by jolliena

My life was perfect till that day.I had a beautiful family,i finished college,i got engaged and everything went right when a morning believing that everything was ok and i suddenly learn that mom had a heart attack and she didnt make it.For about a week i was in my own world,ι i was taking tranquilizer pills,i was crying etc.After a week i was thinking that i cant keep movin like this and i tried to continue my life from where i left her before mom leaves us.
It is very difficult..i realised that she is gone and i "accepted" this.I decided that this is something that i have to deal this on my own and i dont think that anyone can really understand me..i just talk about it if and whenever i want and thats it.I cant cry since that week,i think that if i cry she wont come back.I dont want to think about her because that hurts me a lot and i do everything not to think about her.I cant see a picture and i dont have anywhere in my house her picture because i dont think that i need a pic to remember her cos she lives in my heart and i dont know that even if i realised the fact that she's gone i think that if i have a pic in my house its like accepting this and i m not ready.Everyday i count the days from the last day that we talked on the phone..i do everything not to think about her-because the pain is too big and i cant handle him-but this i cant stop it.I miss her,i miss her lot.She was everything for me..mom,best friend,sister(and i have a sister)..and i lost her.
I need someone to tell me if all these are normal...what i have to do.Someone who knows exactly how i feel cos he passed the same situation.

thank you

[bluegrass1965]

Hi Jolliena,
I am so sorry about the loss of your mom...you do not say how long ago she passed but my dad died just under a month ago from a sudden heart attack, and I have found the pain of grieving excruciating. The first week I felt like I had woken up to find the world as I knew it had been erased. From everything I have been told, it seems to me that everything you are feeling is normal. Each person experiences grief in their own way and you have to do whatever it is that keeps you together. Grief counseling (one on one, not a group) has been helpful for me because it has reassured me that I'm not going crazy with grief, and that all of the conflicting emotions I am feeling are normal.

I have found some comfort in thinking about the good times my family had with my dad, and all of the positive things about our relationship, rather than focusing only on the fact that he is gone. I had to make a slide show for his memorial and although it was hard looking thru pictures and remembering great times our family had with him, it also reassured me that the memories I have won't go away and that we were lucky to have had him for as long as we did. My mom has a picture of him in every room of her house.

I also tried to continue my life like it was before dad died, but that did not work. The therapist pointed out, when we lose someone we love this much, nothing *is* exactly the same again....our life balances out again eventually, but it is a new kind of "normal" and we will gradually learn to adapt to what has changed. It doesn't feel that way to me right now but I am hopeful that there will be some peace later.

Big hugs to you. {{{{}}}}}

[jolliena]

thank you so much about what you said to me and i read them really carefully..when i read your post i thought that i should go also to a therapist and now i m trying to deal with this in another base.......

[jolliena]

and because i forgot its been 3months since mom "left" us.....at this moment i realise that no matter or what she wont leave from my heart and all those memories,the 24years that i had her wont never leave from my mind and my heart.....

Thank you,
filakia!!