New boyfriend addicted to Vicodens-HELP

lins6108 · 10-29-2009, 03:34 PM

I have been with a guy for only a couple months and it's someone that I’ve known for about 15 years. I care about him SOOO much and we are sooo in love

When we started dating he had budging disc in his lower back and it hit his sciatic nerve and was prescribed vicodins. He was in a TON of pain and it was understandable for him to be taking them then. Now the nerve problem is gone and he is still taking them because he says he is "sore". I think he is taking 2-3 a day. He isn't getting them prescribed he's getting them off the street. He works in the construction field and sometimes works 11 hours a day. IT's back breaking work..When we started dating he was taking about 5-7 a day at least, that I know of. I know he's tapered it off since then but still he is taking them daily. One night I noticed he wasn't sleeping and was sweating and his leg was twitching....He said he was a mess because he didn't have any pills. Which made me look at it like he has more of a problem!! So he's being up front with me but I still haven't had a "talk" with him about it yet because our relationship is so new. Another problem is his boss seems to have an addiction to vicodins as well. So if he can't go to work because he's sore the boss man will give it to him...He gets them from him and another guy he works with. When I found that out the wind was taken from my sails

He's only 30 and has allot of life left in him and lately it just seems that he's tired and always sore and in pain and down. No insurance so he can't just go see a doctor. He also drinks on the pills. I care about him and don't know how to go about talking to him. First I need to see if he realizes that he has a problem right? Then go from there.....This guy is made for me if it wasn't for the addiction.....he's a perfect 10!! He's very responsible...besides the addiction. Do I run for my life or should I stick it out and get through it with him? He's very loving and all and is REALLY REALLY into me it seems.....Any suggestions would be helpful!! I try and make positives out of negatives and I think maybe I was put in his life for a reason. Please tell me how to handle this!!

tx05 · 10-29-2009, 05:26 PM

No one had a talk with me. It was something I had to decide on my own. That I had a problem and wanted to change. My husband has known about my addictions but it was just something we didn't really talk about. Maybe it was me that didn't want to talk about it. He's known that I have legitamite pain issues for the most part but I didn't think he knew which times I was really abusing them. Now he is totally up to date on everything and is being very supportive. It's a great comfort for me to actually be able to talk about this with anyone.
It's only day 5 for me but it's not worth it for me to take another one after I've been though all of this misery.

lins6108 · 10-29-2009, 05:36 PM

Hummm so should i bring it up to him? I just don't want it to get out of control. I know he's been on them for a few months and the longer i sit back and NOT say anything the worse the addiction. At this point I don't think he even knows he has a problem....I'm at an age where i am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with and i see it in him WITHOUT this addiction....i want him healthy & happy!!

lins6108 · 10-29-2009, 05:37 PM

ALSO congrats for going 5 days!!! That is AWESOME!! I really want to stick this out with him...thank you so much for responding!!!

NotPerky · 10-29-2009, 10:22 PM

Hi Lins and welcome,

It sounds like your BF has shared a lot of info with you. He certainly doesn't seem to be hiding anything. So, he's confiding in you....but how? Is he seeming sorry about this situation, or bragging about how the boss gives him pills? How are you reacting? Sounds like you are being understanding but non-judgmental. Honestly, though, he does have serious problems if he's buying stuff off the street and going through WD without it. This does not sound like the start of a promising relationship. Getting involved with an addict can end up very badly and suck the life out of you. My friend married a guy with a great job who was really "into her", but turned out to be a pill-popping alcoholic. She divorced him after 2 years.

My objective advice would be "run for your life". Please don't view yourself as the person put on this earth to save him. You are trying to justify a relationship that I think you know is not the best for you. Hope that helps, and good luck, sweetie.