Need Help Guys!

[JennaBK25]

Alright so I've been with my guy for 9 months now, he's 26 and a paramedic. Now, I know how the beginning of all relationships are can't keep your hands off each other, don't get out of bed for days and so on..

Now I'm concern because his sex drive is at an all time stand still! He is always to tired or his back hurts or just not in the mood. I always have to make the first move and it's hit or miss. It's like playing a guessing game on whether or not it's going to happen that day or not. So I suggested he go to the doctor and have a physical maybe there could be something wrong. Nothing! Perfectly healthy, doctor said it's normal for this to happen sometimes, its a phase.

I have read things on the internet, relationship books, sex therapy guides everything and they all say it's not me it's things going on with him whether it's stress and things like that. And I've asked and he says it isn't me, but I really can't help but wonder if that is true or not... And now he is saying he feels awful because he thinks he depriving me and not satisfying me..but I told him if he's not into and just doing because I want to it does nothing for me either!

I would really like some advice from people who have experienced this or have suggestions on how I can help him or anything! I seriously have no idea what else to do!!

[Just Tell Me]

He's a healthy 26 year old paramedic so you wonder why he's not interested, I would be too. The one thing that stood out to me especially because of the back pain is he may be experiencing secondary trauma stress which is similar to post traumatic stress syndrome and/or compassion fatigue. Stress, worry and anxiety often manifests in physical aliments ( headache, stomach ache, etc ) Medical workers aren't super human and impervious to the perils and ills that plague the human race, but are expected to serve and care for others as if they are. Being a paramedic I would imagine is physically, emotionally and professionally very satisfing but stressfull beyond what most people have to endure. Maybe you should look into seeing if there is an occupational health office within his organization that can help with compassion fatigue and secondary trauma. If that's what he's experienceing, it's only going to get worse and can lead to other health problems for him as well as burnout on his job which will reduce his effectiveness in the field when injured and sick people really need him to be at his best.