I'm dying from lung and liver cancer

young61 · 11-05-2009, 11:29 AM

I had a CT scan on 9/29/09 , Before I got home my Doctor of 20 years called me and wanted me to come right to his office, He has made that call 3 other times since 1994, So I was pretty sure what he was going to tell me, The last 3 times the cancer was small and they where able to cut it out, But this time it is larger and has moved to my liver, My lungs have been cut on so much there is not much left. They wanted to give me chemo but after being told chemo can not cure the cancer just may be pro long my life an extra 6 to 12 months I decided not to go through it, My quality of life isn't to bad yet
So I decided to get on Hospice care and enjoy as much of life before it gets bad. they tell me I have 6 to 9 months, But no one has a crystal ball so I'll just take each day as it comes, The only thing that really bothers me is I have a 22 year old son And we have always been very very close. And I have been having a really hard time telling him, But I need to asap, I have a Hospice person coming over this Sunday to help me talk to him.
I do feel that God has given me the last 15 years since my first cancer so I could see my son grow into a very smart young man. I prayed to God to let me see my son grow up back in 94 and he let me. I use to joke that Haven didn't want me and Hell was afraid I'd take over. Well now I pray that it's Haven and not Hell that wants me.
God Bless you all.

Lulubells · 11-07-2009, 12:36 AM

Gee whiz, that has to be the worst news to ever get! I really don't, know what to say to you except you DO have to tell your son and yes, you were blessed that you got that time to see him grow up. Your job is about done and I know you hope you raised him to be a good man and be able to take care of himself by making the right decisions and choices in life.

While you have the time, talk to him, tell him all the things you want him to know and remember about you. Talk to him openly and honestly about what is happening and how you feel about it. I can tell you, when Mama was dying with cancer, we talked about it a lot. She was fine with her pending death and was not afraid of it. I can honestly say that during the time she was dying was some of the best times we ever had. We shared so MUCH during that time and we had some of the best times we ever had! I could never tell you what comfort those times have brought me since she passed away. If you can, give that to your son... it will comfort him when you are gone. Give him a lifetime worth of hugs while you can..

((((HUGS))) to you and may your journey Home be as peaceful and blessed as Mama's was..

caringsister54 · 11-10-2009, 05:31 PM

Sorry to hear the news and I've been hearing it a lot lately. A neighbor of mine just got the same diagnosis and it was her husband a few months ago that got his as well.

All I can say from a woman who lost her husband in '05, write letters to your son or a journal. Put down your feelings in the private moments of your life -- all the things you want to tell him and possibly can't. He will treasure having those notes long after you are gone.

May God grant you all peace and security in your journey and its heaven you are going to because hell is what we live in everyday or things like this won't happen.

Caringsister54

Katielyn · 11-10-2009, 07:13 PM

You and your son are in our prayers. Miracles do happen if you believe. Don't give up and may God bless you and your family!

goldyfm · 12-15-2009, 11:48 AM

My daughters lost their dad to cancer some 12 years ago at the age of 22 and 26. I think I may understand some of what you are thinking right now. I know that the treatments that my husband tolerated for a few more days were horrific for him. It was his wish to go through the treatments and I honored that wish, but I don't know if I could make that same choice if it was to be my own health at stake. So, I understand your decision at this time.

On good days, I was glad that he had time to share with my daughters. I know that even when the two of us were alone, he would have times that he would summon me to come sit by his side and he would share some of his memories of times past. Even though we were married twenty five years, it is impossible to share all the details of one's life with another. I know that he opened up to his family and friends during the 15 months he lived after his diagnosis and that he was comforted in being able to do so.

No child wants to hear "bad" news when it comes to their parent. I am thankful everyday that my children had their dad through their formative years and that they carry on the values and life lessons that he taught. It sounds like you are realizing that you did a pretty good job with your child, and I know that gives you peace of mind at this time. I know it is difficult to realize that time is limited for both of you, but try to make the best of it as you can. I know your child will cherish all the fond memories that you make at this time. A parent's time is the best gift one can give a child, just share some of yourself at this time and I pray that you and your child find an inner peace during the coming days.