{{{{{{{}}}}}}},
I am so sorry about the loss of your sweet mom. I have also suffered from depression for most of my adult life, as has my sister. Needless to say my father's death has us both working 24/7 not to slide into complete despair. I am on medication but often feel like it is totally ineffective.
The loss of your mom would have been hard enough without all the other major changes like the house sale, moving and relationships altered. That's a lot for anyone, even without the depression. If you did not seek out some form of grief counseling at the time your mother died (and even if you did, really), that might be an option to explore. Some weeks it is the only part of my existence where I feel sane.
Anyway, you definitely are not alone....some of us have different circumstances of loss, but the crushing weight of grief seems to be a universal thing for those of us who really loved someone, then lost them.
I hope that you are having an okay day.
I feel so alone!
A little over a year ago my mother passed away. I have suffered from depression my whole life, but in the last year I've felt worse then I've ever had. I miss my mom so much, I just wish I could see her again. I think I am having a lot of trouble because she died so suddenly. My mom was a completely healthy person and just passed away one day from a bacterial infection. I woke up one morning and my mom was home from work because she thought she had a stomach virus. She was throwing up and sleeping all morning. Throughout the day she seemed to just get worse, she started complaining of chest pains and that she couldnt feel her legs. I noticed that her lips looked like they were turning a light blue. I called 911 and the ambulance came, even they said she was fine and probably had some type of flu. When we got to the ER she started to get worse and started having trouble breathing. I stayed in the room with her and held her hand while she was crying and telling me that she couldnt move and that she had never felt so much pain. I realized that something was very wrong when I told her it was okay and just keep holding my hand and she said she didnt know i was holding her hand. In a matter of three hours my moms skin started to turn completely purple over her entire body and she bacame unconscious. Doctors didnt even know what was wrong, they told me they didnt think she was going to make it. About twenty minuetes later she stopped breathing. They later told me she died from sepsis due to streptococcal pnuemonia. Which is a bacteria that enterd into her bloodstream and shut down all of her organs. They said she only had a count of two white blood cells left in her body and that they had never seen anything like that before. I miss her so much, after she died what small family I had left stopped calling me, my house was sold, I've had to move 8 times in the last year, close friends I had who I always thought would be there stopped talkng to me. I really cant put it all in words what I've been through the past year. I miss my mom so much, I thought things were hard before she passed. I just dont know what to do anymore. I dont feel like life will ever get any better. If there is a god why would he let such bad things happen to good people. I dont believe everything happens for a reason and if it does what would be a good enough reason for my mom to go through all of that pain and die?
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