Ways to keep them from driving

Lizzie62 · 11-14-2009, 01:00 AM

Hi Everyone!

Ok, so, ya'll know that I have sucessfully stopped my FIL from driving. I can say that my FIL is really easy-going, so maybe it was easier.
First let me say that NO-ONE and I mean NO-ONE wanted to be the one to tell him that he couldn't drive. So here is what we did.
We knew that he wasn't comfortable with driving, but he loves his freedom and we can all understand that its not easy to give up. So here is how we did this. When FIL and all of us went for his evaluation results, they told him that he failed the equivilant of what would be required in order to drive. He said at that meeting that he believed that everyone over the age of 65 should be required to have a driving evaluation. So we took him up on the challenge and called a driving school to evaluate him. Now, had he been up for renewal for his license a year later than he had, an evaluation would have been mandatory since our state put this into law last year.
Anyway, he failed the driving school evaluation also. He grudgingly gave up his driving privlages. He does however not drive and did honor his word. Our biggest problem at this point is family. They keep asking if the state took away his license. We have tried desperatley to not to get to that point. The more time spent with him, the more they understand. So now that is our goal with family.
Funny how we have all the burden with FIL but also we have to explain ourselves to family.
So let me know what the rest of you have done.

Love,

DGabriel10 · 11-14-2009, 08:24 AM

Amen Lizzie.... We have to do it and then explain ourselves. BAH!

With Mom, I let the MARS doctor's tell her. With Dad, his physician told him. Both had valid drivers license until they expired recently even though they have not drive in several years now.

Speaking of family. Five years after Dad was supposed to stop driving, my sister took him to the DMV and he received a new license. He just had to pass an eye test and sign his name.... and he was 85 years old!

Our state has no coordination between doctor's orders and the DMV, diving evaluations are only mandatory in rare occasions and are not related to age. It is strictly up to the family to deal with this problem here

and probably why some gray haired lady managed to pull out in front of me TWICE in the same parking lot!

Love, deb

Lizzie62 · 11-14-2009, 03:51 PM

Speaking of family. Five years after Dad was supposed to stop driving, my sister took him to the DMV and he received a new license. He just had to pass an eye test and sign his name.... and he was 85 years old!

Our state has no coordination between doctor's orders and the DMV, diving evaluations are only mandatory in rare occasions and are not related to age. It is strictly up to the family to deal with this problem here

and probably why some gray haired lady managed to pull out in front of me TWICE in the same parking lot!

Love, deb[/QUOTE]

They DMV does nothing in most cases. My good friend who cared for her parents and lives in Pennsylvannia said that she took her mother to renew her license and right in front of the clerk she asked my friend to sign for her because she couldn't see! She was waiting for the clerk to say something but she didn't. A few weeks later her mother called her and was telling her that she was going through an intersection and everything went black! Poor Marie said do not go anywhere, I will be right over, left work and took her keys.

Here in New Jersey, the Doctors won't send results to the DMV, I suppose I could have and definitley would have if he had insisted on driving.

Love,

caringsister54 · 11-14-2009, 04:54 PM

Lizzie

props to you girl! proud of you.

me, It was after sister told me to come over that there was something she wanted me to know -- it turned out that Mom got a letter from a police dept. asking her to come down with her insurance and registration. it turns out that she hit a car and kept going and someone got her license #. She went down and gave them the info and thought that was it! FAR FROM IT

I went over to her purse, took her keys, removed the car (van) key from it and told sister to go to motor vehicles and get the van put in her name that I would drive it from here on end. She did and that's it.

Mom was furious but never got out of her car, she knew if she did she was in more trouble. i just told her I wasn't Lincoln and she wasn't Douglas and we weren't having a debate on the issue. She could've killed herself or another person and i would not tolerate her putting the house in jeparody if she was sued, sister and I would have had nowhere to go!

CaringSister54