love with bp

[avada]

Thanx for all the coments on my previous thread.

CAN YOU LOVE BIPOLAR

This past weak was really tough for me as I was in a black put. I cant say that there was eany spec reason but the nigth was full of terible dreams.

One night I was thinking about wat was happening to me and things that I was reading about started to make sence to me. For me its not going to help to stop and do nothing because the thruth is that BP will not go away. IT will not be easy but the way to self love and love for others must be close to us that seeks for it. This can make sence because I did not know my self and is still searching for that person. I do love my wife, kids and family but it can be beter, more defoted.

The past can haunt a person and to think about it makes it worse. SO what must I do to sleep at knight.

To hate BP will not help and to love it is creazy

Be well all BP friends and all good thoughts to you

[Wendy489]

I think the past can haunt us and no matter how much psychotherapy can change the reality of the past. One hopes it dims it somewhat, but I think that is all one can expect. I am referring to both the really longterm stuff, for me right back to the day I was born which was so awful because of both a confluence of my birth going wrong and my Mum's and my life being in the balance, and the Police having to practically knock the door down to get my Dad out of a deep drunken stupor to sign release papers for Mum's emergecy caesar. Obviouly we made it. But that was a hallmark of the whole next fourteen years until my Dad drank himself to death. (I am a 10 years sober alcoholic in AA along with my mental illnesses). And then Mum soon married another violent alcoholic and off we went again. Is it a wonder I am sick?! lol

But then there is the more recent past when I have lost everything due to my mental illnesses and 7 years of gross mis-prescription. My alcoholism is at this point in my life, an asset rather than a negative because AA is wonderful and being sober is wonderful.

But due to my illnesses I have lost my hard won career (three tertiary qualifications) and my home as a result of that. I am on the Disability Pension which is under the Poverty Line. I have lost my friends and family who have bailed due to my mental illnesses and I have also turned away some who won't address addiction or mental illness, so I am profoundly isolated.

People say "don't be on the pity pot.etc" But it's very hard not too when you can't fight your way clear of the massive grief and loss, and yes, resentment mainly of the psychs who mis-prescribed me, and to a lesser exent the family and friends who have bailed.

But I am doing my best in every area, and going inpatient is part of that. Avada, I totally agree - Bipolar ain't going anywhere soon and again, I have had people who were (I emphasise WERE) close to me indicate, "what is wrong with you? Take your medication and get on with it"

Then there is t