Fear of going insane

[Madeofglass]

Sometimes I worry about totally losing my mind.. I have anxiety 24/7, suicidal thoughts (or actually thoughts about just "escaping" this world..), constant depression, can't sleep well and on top of that pains that never ever leave my body... So I'm just wondering whether other people with FM have these kinds of fears...? Oops, forgot to mention fibro-fog which makes me feel "surreal". And yea, I'm seeing a shrink twice a month or so, and I've tried all the antidepressants on the market...and I can't take em cause I'm so sensitive to chemicals and such so I would just end up with horrible side effects.

I also worry about ending up all alone, and I'm still young (21yrs old)..

[untouchableme]

<<<gentle hugs>>>. You're not alone in this, one of the things I've learned is that there are many who are taking similar journeys. For many of us, depression and fibro seem to go hand and hand. It's one of the things that make us doubt ourselves. We just want the pain to stop, the pain of our bodies but also the pain of our souls.
You're in a more difficult position because you can't take AD's. I think someone on the board mentioning having your psych. assess you for bi-polar, if he hasn't already. If that's not it, keep trying, maybe get a second evaluation from a new psych.
In the meantime, just try to get through, one day, one hour, one minute if you need to. I believe you can be okay, that you'll find the right path for you. And I don't think you'll always be walking alone.
peace,
a

[Misha5332]

Keep searching for a way to feel better. You will find it. I am fortunate that I don't have to deal with depression along with the fibro now. But years ago I was clinically depressed and can understand the place that you are at now. Maybe you need a new therapist. Have you tried some of the non chemical things to help you feel better. I swear by my massage guy. Hot soaks in the tub, Visualizations to ease the pain, light exercise... there's lots of stuff to try until you find out the best combination for you. You aren't alone. Lean on your support systems and take steps to help yourself feel better. Lots here are very knowledgeable about things for you to try. Hope today has been better for you.

[HOTFLASHIN]

I'm right there with you! I also have thoughts of wanting to "escape" this world! I am glad you put it like that because there is a big difference in that and being suicidal.

Keep reaching out. Talk to those who will listen and REALLY hear you, if that's in this forum or other places. If your family doesn't or won't try to understand you (mine doesn't) then find people who DO understand what you are going through and have good advice and empathy for you.

Be kind to yourself. Do something nice for yourself today. A cup of hot tea and a good book. Or a movie that you love. Snuggling up in front of a nice fireplace. A long, hot bath with some bath salts.

You get the picture. For those of us who are learning to live with this condition, we have to pamper ourselves whenever we can!

What are you going to do for yourself today??

Hugs,

Pam

[bluelakelady]

if you fear insanity you will never be insane, for only the sane know where the edge of the cliff to insanity is.
peace,
blue