Agressive 3 year old

[almac]

I'm at a loss.. I don't know how to make my son understand that he shouldn't hurt people (or animals). He's a bright little boy, completely normal in every other way but his temper.

When he doesn't get what he wants he throws fits and kicks, screams, bites, hits, pinches and throws things. For the longest time he was hitting his head on the floor so hard that it was leaving bumps and bruises. He seems to throw things just to get a rise out of you.. knowing perfectly well that he is going to get in trouble, but does it anyway.

The most concerning act of all is towards the pets. For no reason at all he will pinch and slap our cat or bunny. He's thrown the bunny several times. It's terrible but when I see him acting like this I think about how these nutcase serial killers were as children.. and how I've heard about them hurting animals..

I worry it may have something to do with his unconventional life. He's with me Thursday morning until Monday morning, and with his father Monday morning until Thursday morning. It's been like this for a year and a half. However, his father has moved 3 times and has a new gf and new baby and has introduced his gf's family to our son. So it's like a whole other life when he goes for those 3 days.

How do I deal with the agression? Right now when he acts out he gets a 3 minute time out and must say he's sorry to whoever he hurt. It helps for the time being but obviously.. long term it isn't doing the trick.

[simplyheather]

I wonder what kind of discipline he's getting when he's with his father? I used to swat my son after he did something bad, but then he started hitting me back, or slapping at me when he was mad. So I started doing the time out thing, and in all actuality I didn't think it would work, but it has done wonders, and he's stopped hitting when he's angry.

You may also want to try the empathizing with him... like "I understand you're angry and upset, can you tell mommy why?" or something like that. I know the more calm I stay, the faster it is that my son will calm down.

My nephew is much like your son, he is very aggressive and he does things to just try and make you mad! Like your home situation, my sister and her son's father are no longer together, and they kinda do the same thing as you guys. I think it does have some affect on the childs behavior. I know its not anything you can help, but maybe just talking to your son, and asking how he feels about things. Maybe when he's at his father's house he's not getting the right kind of attention from his father because there is a new baby, there is a new family, and he might just feel like the only attention he can get is when he acts out. Is this something you might be able to discuss with your ex?

Anyway, I hope things start looking up, and just remember to always follow thru with a threat. Don't tell him you'll put him in timeout then don't. That just gives kids the permission to run all over you!
Good luck, and please keep us posted on how things are going!

[almonkey]

Originally Posted by almac

I'm at a loss.. I don't know how to make my son understand that he shouldn't hurt people (or animals). He's a bright little boy, completely normal in every other way but his temper.

When he doesn't get what he wants he throws fits and kicks, screams, bites, hits, pinches and throws things. For the longest time he was hitting his head on the floor so hard that it was leaving bumps and bruises. He seems to throw things just to get a rise out of you.. knowing perfectly well that he is going to get in trouble, but does it anyway.

The most concerning act of all is towards the pets. For no reason at all he will pinch and slap our cat or bunny. He's thrown the bunny several times. It's terrible but when I see him acting like this I think about how these nutcase serial killers were as children.. and how I've heard about them hurting animals..

I worry it may have something to do with his unconventional life. He's with me Thursday morning until Monday morning, and with his father Monday morning until Thursday morning. It's been like this for a year and a half. However, his father has moved 3 times and has a new gf and new baby and has introduced his gf's family to our son. So it's like a whole other life when he goes for those 3 days.

How do I deal with the agression? Right now when he acts out he gets a 3 minute time out and must say he's sorry to whoever he hurt. It helps for the time being but obviously.. long term it isn't doing the trick.

It seems our entire society is actually getting more agressive. If you check out the ingredients in almost everything that comes in a box, the chemicals, perservatives, and artificial colors are rampant. If you havent tried to detox him, you might be surprised at what a difference changing his diet can have.

It takes about 4 days but you can start seeing a difference in 1 or 2. Instead of cereal, waffles, or pancakes for breakfast try eggs and a couple slices of fresh fruit. Or make a smoothie with fresh fruit and veggies. Lunch, loose the breads, pastas, crackers, and go with grilled chicken strips, more fresh fruit (apple, pear, or a banana) carrots and or celery with peantut butter and dinner obviously chicken, turkey, or fish and some veggies. Add an omega 3/6 vitamin and see if it makes a difference. I was amazed at the difference this had on my son. I realize you cant control what happens at the other home but teaching him good habits he may ask for these things when he's there.

i have always been told boys are more physical. When they are stressed, they react more physically. Ignoring bad behavior and rewarding the good is the suggestion of the century. I do recommend 123 magic and its techniques. You can get a used copy on ****** for under $5.00. Good luck. Being a parent always tests to the limit. Good luck.