Day four of taper...

[StarChaser]

Hi there, I just posted my first post yesterday and I have built up the nerve for my second, thank you all for who replied and who took the time to read my story. This is day four for me with a taper of only 3 pills per day of the 10/325 hydro coming off of a cold turkey withdrawl that lasted 49 hours.

I just wanted to ask if anyone else seems to be feeling the same symptoms, and to see if this is normal<hope hope>...I am extremly anxious! For a person who thrived on anxiety before as a motivator for action, this feeling is almost making me sick to my tummy? I keep busy as much as I can, still not at 100%, I feel at least a 75...but for some reason I find myself wanting to "jump" the gun and decrease my intake by 1 and 1/2 and getting this entire chapter of my life over with.

I have been reading the posts for quite awhile and have noticed that as soon as we begin to feel better with a decrease in pills either forced or not, we tend to want to fast forward through to get to the success. Could it be a general reaction from the decrease in the drug? Is is possible that maybe we are not posting enough information to research during the change? Either way I have found myself wanting to place myself in questionable circumstances since deciding to end my cycle of inner destruction.<wanting to decrease by a pill and a half after only four days> Am I setting myself up for a fall? Do I really want to get better? Do I want to relapse and end up back in this stage again because I know I got through it the first time? The first obvious answer is no, yet in the back of my mind, that uncomfortable feeling of anxiety and rushed intentions comes forth!

I am brave enough to have endured cold turkey withdrawls, yet it is hard for me to face how I got there. I think getting there is something I need to take daily inventory of, so that I can educate myself on how to avoid becoming a hostage to Hydrocodone ever again. Any advice on the anxiety? Can I use Benadryl for the tension?

Thanks for lending eyes and thoughts...
~Star

[KillingMeSoftly]

Starchaser,
I felt the need to reply to this post as there have been quite a few people that read it but didnt respond. Sadly, I cant help you because my DOC is alcohol. What I can and will do however is pray for you tonight. I like to make my prayers as specific as I can. If you dont mind, what is your name/sex/age. I totally understand if you dont want to post that. My prayers will still be delivered. Will you do the same for me? My name is Marilyn, and yup a female, and I am 41 years old. Take care my friend.
For the others,
Why is it that when a newbie posts, they get little response? When a regular poster doesnt post for a day or so, the other regulars send out the dogs with posts like, "where is ****? Or this message is for ****.
Rudder started a nice thread today. I imagine it will be taken over by the regulars however.
Rudder,
you have been deemed the welcoming committee and you are doing a great job!! Thanks for taking time out of your day for the sick and suffering inside and outside of the room(s).

[StarChaser]

Marilyn,

I just prayed for you and your situation, and thank you so much for your reply. I am a 30 year old female and you may call me Jen. I understand that people may not have the time, and that my situation may not warrent an emergency post, but you are wonderful to go to bat for a fellow addict. My prayers are with you dear, ask if you need any thing else!
~Star

[rudder]

Star-

I hope Philster stops by this post because he really knows more about C/T & Tapering then most out there.

Why not get the stuff (meds,movies,food, ect.) you would need to go C/T together this week & try it over the weekend. Put your heart into it and try. If you can't make it, promise yourself that you will not go over 3 pills if you have to turn back. Do you have someone that can hold/despence your pills to you and not give you more than 3 if you don't make it? Do you think that if you had to turnback you could stay at this level on your own.

Why not try and if it does not work, then try again after holding at 3 for a while. IMO you made it this far, so you know what you what to expect. I bet that you can do it & deal with the physical part. Now you just need to figure out how to take care of the mental part. Do you have any kind of support network. Maybe take in an AA NA meeting once in a while.

Again, you sound ready. If you fail and end up going back, just don't go over 3

Good Luck
Rudder

[Philster2003]

Hi Star;

Wow, you are awesome, getting down to 3 pills in such a short time. Bowing to you in admiration!

I bet you thought those 48 hrs would never get better. Actually 48 hrs is pretty good considering most of us suffer for 3-7 days with severe withdrawal.

So you ask is anxiety normal, I would say it is along with depression. That is very normal when we detox off opiates. I went through incredible depression and anxiety, thought I would have a nervous breakdown more then once during my taper. I also think it is very normal to want to get a taper program over and be rid of the drugs, very normal Star. I know I'm a results oriented person who has little patience at times and when I was in taper I wanted to get to 0 so fast it was comical. I'm also competitive and I had this goal I set for myself and I was constantly trying to beat my taper schedule LOL

I started my taper when I was around 400mg of opiates per day and when I got to around 100mg I tried to go cold turkey with nothing but a few low dose Xanax pills available. Well that was a disaster. I had to start back after about 15 hrs of bad withdrawals, thought I was going to die. Not sure why thiat happened as I had CT before. I had to start back up, I only needed to go back to 60mg per day so I did make a 40mg gain for my pain of withdrawal. So I continued to taper until I got to 20mg per day and I went to my PCP Dr and I gave him a plan for going CT and all the drugs I needed. I did this after thorough research on the NET. This time I was armed with Valium at max per day dosage, phenergan for my stomach, clonidine for the crawly skin/restless legs/arms, ambien for sleep, Imodium for the runs and bentyl for stomach and leg cramps. What a difference the meds made, the valium literally knocked me out for 3 days, had my wife wake me up every 6 hrs for another 10mg pill. After 3 days I eased off the meds for the next 2 days and by day 6 I was using no meds and totally off drugs (opiates) for 5 days. I wasn't 100% by any means but I was over the worst that withdrawal threw at me. It took about 8 - 12 weeks to get totally 100%, to get over depression, sleep patterns revival, lethargicness and my old self feelings as my wife would say. It’s the old 80/20 rule, the first 80% improvement takes 20% of the time, but the last 20% improvement takes 80% of the time. During the 8-12 weeks it’s harder to feel improvements because they are smaller but you do make improvements.

I would agree that you may be at a point that you just want to go CT and get this nightmare over. If you do then get with your Dr and get some or all of the drugs I described to assist in withdrawal. If you can't work with a Dr then use over the counter meds such as benedryl for sleep or melatonin for sleep, Imodium for the runs, lots of fluids, mega vitamins such as C, B, (sure I forgot some others to take) lots of hot baths or showers, and lots of exercise. I walked and walked and walked the neighborhood, all times of the day (2AM, 4AM, 9AM, 12PM, 2PM, 5PM, 8PM) as much as possible to kill time and thwart the CT symptoms. Each walk was for at least 2 miles, sometimes 3 laps which is 3 miles LOL

If you fail which I don't think you will, but if you have to fall back don't go back to 3 pills, try 1.5 or 2 pills and resume your taper. If you have to indeed go back to 3 no big deal either, just resume the taper.

OK I threw out some thoughts, hopefully that helps. If you have ANY other questions fire away.

Good luck, and I always tell folks they are stronger then they think and visualize your goal, visualize winning, visualize not on drugs and how wonderful life will be because I can tell you that my life has been so absolutely wonderful in 2003 without drugs, better then EVER before and much, much better the using drugs.

You are awesome!

phil