Please help me

[goodcharlotte]

Hello,

This is my first time on this board so I'd just like to say hello and how grateful I am for finding something like this.

I am 16 years old and I have a serious problem. The even bigger problem is, I don't know what's wrong with me. It's rather complicated so please try to stick with me. I would really like to feel better.

A long while ago I had a "teenage experience" with marijuana. When I tried to walk, I saw things in "frames", everything was slow, everything was echo-ing. I felt like I was in a dream, like everything was a video game. I thought that I was going to die if I went to sleep. (I think that is the part of paranoia that comes along with smoking marijuana.) I eventually did fall asleep and slept for a long time. My body went numb, and it felt as if my limbs weren't attached to my body anymore. It eventually passed, and a few weeks later, I was around it, and it happened again but wasn't as severe, probably because I wasn't the person who was smoking it. It was not something that usually happens to people when they do this I hear, and since then, I haven't tried anything else along the lines of drugs just because of that incident, and I also try to steer clear of it.

Well, a few weeks ago at work, I noticed myself rushing to get things done quickly. I tried to slow myself down, and my memory flashed back to the incidents stated above. That is when it all happened. I started seeing things slowly again. I couldn't breathe, I was very hot, and my heart was racing. I quickly excused myself from the line of customers because I thought I was dying. I ran to the back room and called my mom, who then called 911. The EMT came, hooked me up to some machines and an oxygen tank, and eventually the ambulance came. I could respond, I could understand, but it was like I was very tired. I felt like I was asleep or trying to escape my body or something. When I was loaded into the ambulance, they said my heart rate was unusually high, and my skin tone was very pasty, but other than that, everything was normal. Nothing was wrong in my blood, fearing it was a thyroid problem or lack of nutrients. They told me just to get some rest and eat plenty of meat (blech).

Ever since then, I have been experiencing these strange ... things. I don't know what else to call them. When I am awake, I feel like I am just my eyes, like there's nothing else there. I just stare at something and think about something else. I get strange headaches and I am always tired, no matter how much sleep I get. My body occasionally begins to numb, but not to the extent of the ER incident. I remain conscious at all times, and I didn't lose consciousness at all during my "episode", but my memory of previous days is very blurry, and I don't remember much of what happened that day.

It is really scary and I'd really like to know if anyone thinks they might have an idea.

I am currently on medication for ADHD which I have been diagnosed with and treated for since I was very young. I have also been diagnosed with depression but am not currently being treated for it because the medication was not working, even at high doses.

I apologize for this being terribly long, but I figured if you have more information it would be easier to diagnose.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope someone can end this hell for me soon. I constantly just want to burst out into tears because I hate being like this.

[Lindarella]

It could be the medication for ADHD that is making this happen. Depending on which drug you are taking for this as some of them can cause hallucination and paranoid thinking in too high of a dose.

Any time you take medication that does things to your brain, and things start happening to your brain, you need to look to these medications first. They are the most probable cause. High doses of anti-depressants were then added to the list. All these things goof with the chemicals in your brain to some degree.

This isn't to say that I'm positive about this being the cause, this is just a suggestion of things to look into with the doctor that is prescribing these medications. He should be alerted to what is happening to you and if he refuses to do something, you really do need to see someone else.

Good luck to you.

I wanted to edit to add that after reading what I wrote it sounded like I was against the medications. I'm not. You just may need a medication evaluation and possible adjustment. Maybe you're taking too much or too little of a medication, or maybe you need to switch to something that isn't causing bad side effects.

[This message has been edited by Lindarella (edited 05-26-2002).]

[goodcharlotte]

First of all thanks for responding so quickly. I appreciate it.

The doctor was very aware of all the medications I'm currently on. During all of these episodes, I was not on any anti-depressants. I took myself off of them in late October.

I have been on my ADHD medication for years - they said it wasn't the cause. Their best guess was lack of protein - or illegal drug use.

I have been keeping my intake of protein at a healthy level, and have been taking the correct dosage of prescribed medications only. I am scared to even take medicine to cure my headache

Now do you see why this is so confusing? hehe

[Lindarella]

Which medication do you take? I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility that this one doctor could be wrong. I also think that it's pretty "far out there" that lack of protein would do this to you or smoking weed a couple times.

Even if you've successfully taken medication since you were a young child, it will change when you hit puberty. Your hormones will all change and so as a result, the medications that try and adjust those hormones can act differently. They can not work as effectively or be overworking or just not working at all.

In any case, hope you find some answers.

[goodcharlotte]

I didn't much like that doctor anyway.

I take Dexedrine.

They tried me on Ritalin and Concerta, and Dexedrine is the only one that works with the ADHD and does not make me physically ill. I don't remember if they tried me on anything else though.

I personally don't think it's my medication, only because on days that I forget to take it, I still feel this way.

I guess the best way to describe it is like spraying windex on a window and letting it drip. Eventually, it dries out, but there's still residue. What I'm saying is, the intense part of it eventually went away, but I have these minor but mind-boggling situations that are still kinda stuck here. It's driving me crazy. It just won't leave me alone. The only time I feel better is when I'm sleeping. Even when I'm awake, I'm not quite sure if I'm awake or sleeping. It's like I don't understand why I exist. Then I get into these thoughts in my head about how humans are just animals and that the only part of me that exists is my brain, and that the people around me aren't real, and the conversations I'm hearing aren't really happening, that I'm in a coma and I'm following the sound of the voices just trying to escape it. It's really strange and it scares me so bad.