Changing nursing homes

[Sweetie]

I'm looking for anyone who has gone through moving a loved one from one nursing home to another. Particularly from one state to another.
My grandma has alzhiemers and is currently in a IL nursing home. At 1st that was great she was 5 minutes away from my mom's house but last year my mom joined me in MI. I had my grandma on a waiting list at a home up here for two yrs. Two months ago I get a call saying they have a bed available. Well, they had to asses her before they would admit her. Eventually, they sent some one to IL to do the assessment only to return and tell me she wouldn't be compatable with the residents currently in their dementia unit. (Is any dementia patient copatible with another?)I just had a converstaion with a woman at our local Alzheimers chapter and she said these nursing homes certainly can & do pick & choose who they want. Or how much work they are willing to do. If it's too much trouble for them to admit a patient from another state, there are plenty of other people in line for the same bed that would be less work to admit. We just want Grandma near us and it doesn't seem fair. We have to travel about 3 1/2 hours to visit her which isn't too bad, but we see her far less than we are comfortable with. Also, we can't monitor her care as closely as we'd like. So besides for venting my frustration I am wondering if anyone has succesfully made this type of move & what their experience was. I should also mention that we are limited in our choices because we need to find a facility that accepts medicaid. Hope to hear from you. Thanks!

[Alee]

I moved my grandmother from Oklahome to Texas. This is a long story, so I'll try to keep it relatively short here. It took a couple of years though. We were on a waiting list here in Texas, to have her closer to us. She lived in OK all her life, but had no family there that could tend to her. She was in a AD facility in OK, but when evaluated for the nursing home here in Texas, they put her on the regular floor as she was better off there. Never had to worry about her wondering off or anything like with most AD patients. Lord, the stories I could tell. It was a fight, and took constant phone calls regularly to push it through. A nursing home can pick & choose their people. No 2 homes will evaluate the same person the same way. In the facility in OK, she was "locked up" in the AD unit where as in Texas she was on the regular floor. It takes persistence and phone calls, sometimes daily. This was the only nursing home in Texas that accepted her. It was still about 2 hours away, but that beat being in another state. It wasn't the best facility, but any facility is better when they see your face weekly and know that you watch EVERYTHING, and keep track of everything. Again, I could tell some stories. Feel free to ask me anything, I have experienced it all, from the behavioral problems, to nursing home abuse, etc. Don't know if I've really helped much here, but just don't feel alone - and don't give up. Your grandmother depends on you now, and she can't have you give up on her.

[Alee]

Also, keep copies of EVERYTHING. Every doctor report, the nursing home records, etc. This is VERY important on many different levels. If you don't like what one doctor says, get another. One key to getting my grandmother considered for the open floor and move was a doctor that stated she was no threat, no harm to others, was not a wanderer, etc. Nursing want the money for a filled bed over a "problem" patient. They are more likely to take the "easy" patients.