Hallucinations and confusion

[Willow3]

[SIZE=7]

My mother will be 94 next month....a year and a half ago, mother who was living in her home began having hallucinations: We kids were being harmed, people were in the house ( Once she even cut the back of a chair out because she thought someone was hiding there ), people were in the street singing and playing music all the time, and children were being abused.

Luckily for us she wanted to get away from there. I found a lovely assisted living place and she went there and lived there for 15 months until again hallucinations became daily ocurrences. When the assisted living personel called me I decided to take it upon myself to get help so I called the local hospital that has a psyche ward and they admitted her immediately. Mother was there for 13 days....she was completely evaluated and findings were psychosis. She was put on Anti-psychotic drugs and mood elevators. Upon discharge it was determined that she should enter a skilled nursing home. At this time she was doing wonderfully well. I brought her home to live with me and took her to visit some of the local nursing homes.....upon leaving them, she told me that they were not for her, commenting that she saw not one spark of inspiration coming from any of the residents there....she was right...plus I saw a number of residents just hanging over their chairs.....sad!

Needless to say, Mother came here to live with me.....and all is going very well except that she thinks she is in some kind of institution where there are many people being cared for by a number of caregivers....similar to the assisted living place.

What bothers me most is that although she calls me by my name, she does not know our relationship....that hurts me deeply. She does not see this as my home which she has been in hundreds of times. One night when I was getting ice cream for us, she went into the livingroom and announced that I was serving ice cream and asked the others if they would like to come out for some......there were no others.( The tears were rolling down my cheeks ) I just do not know how to deal with this!!!........When she sets the table for supper, she sets for three or four..there are just the two of us.

The other day she was holding my hands and saw a wedding ring on my right hand...she asked where I got it and I told her that my mother had given it to me...she asked if she could see it...and then asked me to tell her about it.....I know she recognized the ring as being her wedding band which she had given me a number of years ago.

Once a month I go to a care giver's luncheon......I always come home with new resolve......I have so much to be grateful for: Mother uses a wheel chair, but The only things I really need to do for her is help her into the shower to sit on a stool, and cook her meals and do her laundry.

She is so appreciative of everything "WE GIRLS" do...I am the only one doing it all.......and at night time she is always wanting to hug and kiss me good night and hopes I will sleep well.....as well as thanking me for all I do for her.

Today I showed her an 8x10 picture of me and asked her who it was...right away she said 'That is my lovely daughter" But she doesn't see me as that person. I asked her to tell me about her daughter, and she said she does not discuss family with outsiders.

Mother is a very gracious lady in her dealings with me and my friends..


I KNOW I have so much to be grateful for.....I just don't know how to impersonalize all of this I am experiencing...I love her dearly and want the best for her. I believe that she is aware of her short comings regarding her mental confusion.....she says so much....she tells me that it is she that has the problem to work out of.......I wish I could help.

Her doctor wants her to take a cognitive assessment test....she says there are medications to help with short term memory loss.......I do not think she was given this test in the hospital..does anyone know anything about these tests and the medication?

Help!

Willow

[BarbaraH]

Hi, Willow,

Bless your heart! My 88 year old mother has had hallucinations, too, but she has Alzheimers and has lost much of her memory and physical abilities in the last 2 years. She has retained her good manners most of the time, but can be combative or act like a grumpy 2 year old. She was worried for a while that her mother didn't know where she was and that she'd be late for school. She frequently spoke of seeing her sister looking so pretty - but her sister had died months before. Mother forgot how to walk a year ago and hasn't realized I'm her daughter for longer than that, so I know how you feel. Recently, she has begun to talk far less than usual.

I'm not sure if the cognitive tests are simply questions about day, date, president's name, etc to determine her orientation or if it would be something different.

As for the medications to enhance short term memory, well, your mother is 94, so long term problems aren't a real consideration. If you find she's restless or unhappy on the medication, then it could be discontinued.

I know Mom doesn't know me, but I always call her Mom and I hug her and tell her I love her. She usually smiles and says "that's nice" or "I love you too".

You're not alone on this unwelcome path. You're doing the best you can and it sounds really good.

Best wishes - Barbara

[Lizzi]

Willow...
You are soooo strong...your mother's hallucinations make me think of my Grandpa...
My Grammy died a year ago to breast cancer...at the time we knew my grandpa needed help with alot of things...eventhough he'd try to push us away...& didn't want any help...can't say that I blame him I wouldnt' want help either...
Since then we've discovered alot of things that my Grammy was sooo good at hiding from us...My aunt told me that Grammy'd been covering things like this up for about 10 years...things like him going to the basement door & yelling down for the kids to 'shut up & get to sleep'...My Dad & Aunt are in their 50's...my aunt may be in her 60's not sure...
Shortly before Christmas he started having terrible hallucinations to the point that he told my Dad about them..but...he doesn't believe them to be hallucinations...he believes them to be reality...he thought there were people all over in his house...he thought there were people out on the lawn having sex...
He finally called his neighbor...& told her he didn't feel well he thought he'd better go to the hospital...when he got their he was covered in bruises...guessing he'd been falling & runninginto things inthe dark...he run around the house chasing these people in the dark alot...we ended up deciding a long term facility was his best option...he signed power of attorney over to my Aunt & Dad...so he's no longer able to just get up & sign himself out against doctor's orders...
He's sooo unhappy though...not so much about the facility...I think alot of it he's missing my Grammy...he hates the food...they can't cook around there...nobody could cook like her...& they can't make coffee...I couldnt' choke down his coffee...more like syrup...he hates just about everything...One day he decided he wanted my Aunt to take him somewhre...can't remember where...while they were up town he decided he needed to see the eye doctor...he didn't think he needed an appointment...then he decided that eye doctor didn't know what he was talking about he wasn't going to do what he said anyhow...ugh...he's sooo completely exhausting...
At Christmas...he come out & had Lunch with us...we were all so happy he ate soo well...but the little things are sooo hard...I baked him some cookies & turnovers & brought him in the nursing home..in hopes that he'd snack on them...he freaked out...like he thought they'd kill him or something...I held the door for him that day & he told me to stop trying to put him in the grave...he wt.s maybe all of 80lbs...has oxygen..which he normally refuses to wear...& I thought maybe if I held the door I"d get through faster as well...I feel so heartbroken some of the things he says to me...
& when I think of my Grammy & know ...how he was to her tword the end he wouldn't even hold her...my aunt said he was kinda cruel to her tword the end too...breaks my heart to know she was hurting more than I ever knew...
One of the things he told my Aunt was that My Grammy was stuck in the basement & he couldn't get her out...when she went to the cemetary it looked as if someone had been digging....
When anyone goes to see him he completely exhausts them...

I've worked in nursing for 10...almost 11 years...most of that time I've cared for alzheimer's patients...& alot of that time I worked in Alzheimer's units...& have learned...
That being a care taker...& a family member is sooo different...both are challenging in their own ways...but being a family member is much harder by far...
You have so much strength to take care of your Mother in your own home...My Grandpa doesnt always recognize my Aunt...& doesn't remember people stopping...we have a guest book in his room so we can try to keep track of weather he remembers people stopping or not...
My Aunt's considering remodeling her basement like an appartment so she can take care of him & give him as much freedom as possible...not to mention the cost of his care...he's worked so hard all of his life to get all he has & save all that he's saved...it's heartbreaking to see it all go into nursing care...they do deserve every dime they get...they have a very challenging job...but if my Grandpa only knew how much he pays out every month he'd freak...
Anyhow...
Thanks for letting me vent...
forgot to tell ya about finding a huge butcher knife in his tool box in the garage last week...was going to take apart a toddler bed to bring home for my little boy...that my cousin had left there for him...but no screwdrivers or pliers in the tool box...only a huge knive...had to rack my brain to remember where Grammy kept them...she had a little set of her own tools under the kitchen sink...
Hope you're all doing well...
Good Luck...
Lizzi...

[Snooks]

Willow and Lizzie - My mother was just placed by my dad and I in assisted living in PA a week and a half ago. A few days ago we got a call that my mother had tried to kill herself. She tried to cut her wrists. She is on so many drugs not just for AD but for psychosis (OCD, schizophrenia - though the doctor won't say schizophrenia). I thought her thinking that there were two of me and two of my father was part of AD, but I guess not. They are hallucinations. Right now she is in a psychiatric hospital in PA and I fear that she will not be able to go back to the assisted living. My dad and I are heartbroken. He is 82 and alone. I, the only child, am in MA. Any ideas or thoughts welcome.

[becky1954]

It is so heartbreaking when a parent can no longer remember or has alzheimer's.My mom is gone now but when she had alzheimers for a short while she lived with me.I had gone to another town to get her meds refilled while my hubby stayed with her.She saw or wedding pictures on the wall and could not remember my wedding.She just broke into tears which was most unlike my mom b/c she never cried.I came home and my hubby told me what a terrible time she was having.I sat down with her and she started crying and told me what a bad mom she was.She said that was the most important day of my life and she couldn't remember being there.She knew she was b/c she saw herself in the pictures.I just sat down with her and hugged her and cried with her.It was so sad.At least she still remembered me.She died b4 hers got to the point that she didn't know anyone but she had a stroke and couldn't talk and she just gave up.There is just nothing you really can do for them.It is just so sad.As far as the mom who tried to kill herself.I don't know what you can do for her.I think she needs to be somewhere where she can be watched but if she is in that condition I think it needs to be with someone who is trained in alzheimers conditions.