SciTeach, I have a post here concerning my mother and hallucinations and confusion, so will not detail that here..You might like to read that.
One of the things we all need to realize is that in many respects our love ones are being protected from what is happening to them....the "pain" becomes ours, not theirs and we should find some solace in that. I like you fear what lies "around the corner", but I am leaning to live for today and deal with tomorrow when that time comes.....All I have done is the inquiry as to what is the prudent thing to do :"IF"
As I think about mother I am remined of the man who went to visit his wife every day for five years and she didn't even know him. When asked why he would do this when she didn't even know him, he commented, "Yes, my dear, but I still know who she is." That hit home with me....and I am finding that these times with my mother, in certain respects, are some of the best we have ever had....they are special for me.
Although I attend caregivers' meetings, I am drawing great comfort from the sharing done here on the boards.