Where to start?? I'm a 52 wife/mom/granny. I worked for ma bell 19 yr. and was FORCED to retire on disabilty in 1992. Had been a lineman,central office wireing tech. blah blah blah. I was a tomboy and very, very fit! When I was 24 I fell 18 ' from a pole and hit the ground twice (caught a barb wire fence it bounced me back up) and knocked me out. A co-worker found me and got me to the hospital where they found I had a concussion but from x-ray tech in 1974 didn't find my back problems. Had bach ache's and problems off and on they would usually ease up in 2-3 weeks but I figured they came with the turf < you (a woman} do a mans job you pay the price> I loved what I did and it almost killed me to know I would never be able to work again. Its been 12 years now I'm still bitter over it. Any way back to the subject. In 1992 I was getting ready for work and STARTED to bend over in the bathroom to get a something or other and BAM I couldn't move!!! My then husband was in bed not 8' from me and the pain was so intense I couldn't call loud enough to even wake him!! finially got him awake and he carried me to bed.I could not make my legs move for love nor money!! He called our pcp and he called in pain meds. and muscle relaxers. My ex keep me knocked out for about 2 weeks carrying me to the bathroom when I needed to go ect. Then went for and MRI to find out I had buldged 4 disk ,have DDD,spinal stenoses? and from there to a PT that had a full immersion water tank where it took me 4 mo. to be able to walk again. Long story short, instead of getting better my problems snowballed on me. Being on all types of pain med. antidepressents, muscle relaxers and other meds you all know the drill on tolerance, was changed to methadone in 2000 besides my other meds. Then in Sept.-Dec. of 2003 started having having black-outs. Told my pcp and he said that I had built up toxic levels of meds and needed to detox them out. I did so in hospital beause of med problems and almost died from complications, they also think I had atleast one stroke or more! I have lost memories, of every thing from how to cook to how to turn on the computer!!! I was a geek LOL but no more not even basic things!! Now from Jan to Now I went through every med my doc threw at me from nuronton sp? to ultracet effexor, all muscle relaxers I don't even remember them all trying to stay away from the narcotics. None worked I was a veg. from the pain for 6 mo. Finally wrote a letter ( thax Shoreline) and got my doc to realize just how my life wasn't anything more than just existing and trying to get through the day till nite when I could get 1-2 hr of sleep the only time I didn't hurt so bad. Wanting to stay low on the narcotics he added norco 10, 4 X day in Jun. This has allowed me to at least sit up to eat and not be a complete veg. though the pain level is still running 7-8 it beats the excruciating pain I was in. I'm still haveing protracted w/d symptoms but some are wearing off,so far still no luck with the memories
but I still keep the faith that some if not all will come back this has had me sooo depressed and embarassed to have to ask my hubby of six years, {not the other b*****d} things I should know but don't, I feel he gets upset that I don't remember I do feel he loves me but dosen't understand what I went through with detox and the last 7 mo. Mine wasn't the norm detox in !! Even I don't understand it!! I go back to pcp tomorrow will see what he says, I went to my pain mang. doc and had the 3 round of epidurals 2 week apart, that helped some . My pcp is supposed to call my pm to see about putting me back under his care they both have been good to me so we'll see what happens. So thats most of my story sorry its so long. I look forward to being online line more and makeing friends with people that understand, it helps to have someone like yourself to talk to. Thax for listening.
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