approaching strangers

[no_longer_sad]

I have posted on here before about my 2 1/2 year old son. He has not been assessed yet
but he had a language and speech evaluation and he’s speech is severely delayed. My
husband and I took the initiate and hired a speech therapist to work with him 3 days a
week. He will start the sessions next week but everyday he’s making more and more
attempts at speech. He constantly makes sounds and says the letters out loud and numbers (1 to 10). I’m sure you can count and say the letters of the alphabet and still be autistic, but how about approaching strangers? Twice now at different restaurants, he walked up to people seated, looked directly at them, and babbled. Of course, I was shocked because I thought autistic children don’t do that, or do they?
I asked these people he approached if
he looked just in their direction or made eye contact with them and they said that he looked directly into their faces. Also, I read that autistic children do not understand other people's feelings but my son seems to show that he does understand. For example, he wanted a book his brother wanted and once I gave it to him and not his brother, his brother whined. Once he realized this, he pushed the book towards his brother and gave it to him. Does anyone here think I’m reading too much into these behaviors or are they signals that maybe he’s not autistic? I’ve just finished reading a book called “The Out-of-Sync Child” and I recommend it to any parent who believes that maybe it’s not autism at all but just sensory issues the child is suffering from and who exhibits some autistic characteristics. I would appreciate any thought on this.

Thanx,

Sam

[This message has been edited by no_longer_sad (edited 04-12-2001).]

[Tired2ru]

First off, I must say that there is nothing that an Autistic child can or cannot do just because they are autistic. Many autistic people have great eye contact, great verbal skills, lots of emotion, very social ect ect. What is not likely, is that they have all of the above. Some start one way and end up another. Watch Temple Grandin, still very much autistic, yet she has now great eye contact and lots of emotion. Like I said, one thing they do great does not keep them from being autistic. Weather your child is or not I cannot say. Yes, the "Out of sync child" is a great book and many people who have autism and who might have been wrongfully diagnosed with autism ... have sensery disfunction. Each of these kids are so incredably different. You should have your son evaluated by a team of specialists and then you might know better if he possibly has Autism or not. That should be one of your first steps. There are so many things that it could be or not be.
Sandy

[whatstheodds]

hi sam,
two of my kids have good eye contact,
one of mine will talk to anyone, she has no sense of stranger danger and wouldn't realize
if someone didn't want to talk to her, she doesn't read social cues, if elliot hears someone cry he will go right up to them look them right in the eyes and say stop, he will then cry himself, these kids may all have the same label but they are all so different.
i hope the speech therapy goes well for your little one, keep us posted. take care,
jo.

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[no_longer_sad]

Thank you both for your responses. I’m sure you’re right and I will not know for sure
until he’s assessed, but it’s the waiting that has got me so worked up. Again, I know that you’re both right in saying that no two autistic children are the same but the feedback I have gotten thus far has put me in this state of confusion. Not wanting to just wait I have had him looked at by many professionals privately, not through the health care system, and they feel he is not autistic per se, but does have some tendencies. What does this mean?
Are these tendencies ones that he will outgrow or get worse with age? I’m not getting enough clear answers and hence, I don’t know which road to take next. I have in fact been told by one professional that my son could be a gifted child due to his abilities. How can a gifted child be mistaken for an autistic one? There is obviously so much more to an autistic child than meets the eye. Jo, you say that one of your children will talk to anyone and in that sense, her behavior is similar to my 5 year old (non-autistic) who will do the same thing. I often have to tell him that the other party is no longer interested in what he has to say and he will ask me endlessly why that is.

Take care,

Sam

[eweejoe]

Autism ranges from mild to profound. Your son may be mildly autistic. I really can't say. My son is profoundly autistic and there's NO doubt about that. The one thing I did want to mention to you is that a lot of research I have done seems to say that repetition and consistency is the key in not only discouraging unappropriate behaviors, but encouraging appropriate ones. There is a therapy known as ABA (applied behavioral analysis) done here in the U.S. that is based strictly on those beliefs. See what you can find out about it. A great textbook/guide to have is "Behavior Intervention for Young Children with Autism" by Catherine Maurice. Sounds like your child would definately benefit from this book to accentuate his positive abilities (emerging speech, etc) and to help discourage his negative (going up to strangers). Take Care! Sherri.