Thank you, HydroQueen

[User 205000]

I decided to face my own addiction to hydrocodone, which began nearly 10 years ago, when I was first diagnosed with degenerative disc disease. My doctor, of course, prescribed Lortab, which I have been taking for nearly ten years. As you well know, over time, the body's tolerance builds, necessitating more medication. Recently, my intake (on some days) has exceeded 20 pills per day. Recently, about three weeks ago, I ran out of medication, and went through two horrific days of withdrawal (I was unable to get a refill over the weekend). At first, I thought I had the flu, as my daughter did. Finally, I surfed the net, found this site, as well as another, and educated myself, and ultimately admitted to myself that I was an addict, which was making life very difficult. Following that weekend, where I had the sweats, body aches, chills, and sleeplessness, I scored my refill, but decided to ration out my last 30 tablets, in an effort to taper the usage. When they were gone, which was last Tuesday (I had my last 5 that day), the real withdrawal began.

Surprisingly, most likely as a result of my reduced intake over that period, the withdrawal symptoms, while still there, were less than those of two weeks ago. In fact, I would say that the first two days were about 50% of what I experienced prior, and the third day was remarkably bearable, and on that day, I saw my doctor, came clean, and he gave me clonidine and trazadone. On the fourth day, I took a trip with a close friend for a change of scenery and some thinking. It is now day 7, still a bit sweaty, cold and sleepless, but my mood is good, I'm not tired, and the cravings are rare. I finally came clean with my wife (who obviously knew this all along, but I couldn't see it), and am committed to staying off this medication...no, this drug.

Now for those of you who want to do the same, the withdrawals really do get better after two or three days. Just pretend you have the flu, if you cannot reveal your addiction to others. My doctor told me that hydrocodone has a short life in the body, but its affects on the brain do linger for some time. The clonidine will help ease the "flu like" symptoms, and help "trick" the brain to restore normal synapses. He said the real risk with hydro is not the liver damage, but rather, the possibility of the brain not telling you to breath or your heart to beat, as the body slows down with large doses.

HydroQueen, your posts helped me come to grips with my own addiction, and I thank you. Let me know how I can help, as my thoughts are with you. To you others whom want to try, my point of this is that the wd's are not as bad as I thought, and my usage was as high as anyone here. My doctor was adamant about not prescribing anything to me that was addictive, like the sub drugs, etc. I think they can create the same problem later. Wish me luck, as I will need it, but I can tell you that after about a week, I do feel pretty good, and have not craved hydro in three days. I know that may change, but I will check back here frequently so that you can encourage me on. Best of luck to everyone.

[yinksy]

User
That is such an encouraging post you have put up - will spur on those who still think they cant face the withdrawal.........
Withdrawal is not pleasant - but it doesnt last long - and the rewards are so so well worth it.
Thanks for sharing that!
Wishing you all the best in your continuing recovery.
Y

[User 205000]

Originally Posted by yinksy

User
That is such an encouraging post you have put up - will spur on those who still think they cant face the withdrawal.........
Withdrawal is not pleasant - but it doesnt last long - and the rewards are so so well worth it.
Thanks for sharing that!
Wishing you all the best in your continuing recovery.
Y

Yinsky, thank you for the kind words. As I was contemplating this withdrawal, in my reading of this forum, as well as another similar one, the common theme is the fear of the wd symptoms, coupled with the doubt to be able to deal with it. When I read these posts, this prospect was scarry. But I can honestly say that it isn't any worse than a bad case of the flu, and it will get better. Now the mental side is another matter, however, I am finding that it, too, eases with some time, and not as much as I thought. The worse part for me is that my back problems are still very real, and now it is a trade off of addiction versus some daily pain (only treatable with Motrin). Surgery is not yet viable for me. My doctor did give me some Lidocain transdermal patches, that I apply to my spine (jury still out on effectiveness), but during the wd, the pain did increase, and I am convinced that a lot of it was phantom-induced by the hydrocodone. Now that a week has passed, my back still hurts, but not like it did when a dose of hydro wore off. So it is my belief that persistant use of hydrocodone does exaserbate pain levels over normal levels. Hope some of this helps someone.

[HydroQueen]

User,
I am very proud of you and thank you for taking the time to write this post.
I actually cried when I saw that someone was thanking ME for helping THEM.
Maybe there is a reason we go through all this mess. Anyway, holler if you need me as I am here everyday while at my office. My counseling with the preacher went well last night. It was more a grief session as my husband and I have alot of unaddressed issues regarding our son's death. I am going
to keep plugging along. I obsess constantly but I don't feel too bad. Hang in there and keep me posted. The bond this illness creates among total strangers is amazing to me. Love to you all. Cat >..<

[User 205000]

Cat, thank for your reply. I apologize, but I was not aware of the situation regarding your son, and my thoughts are with you. We experienced a murder in our family this year (random crime), had our house totally destroyed by a broken water pipe, and dealt with a terminal illness of another family member. All great excused to delay the withdrawal. I finally decided it was time to face my own music, before everything was gone. Day 8 today, a bit jittery and achy, but not bad. Off to London tomorrow for a week away with my family, and some time to rebuild bridges. G