NO MORE!!!!!!

ildanr5k · 07-12-2003, 07:10 PM

I will apologize first as I know this will be long. First of all I have 2 children from a previous marriage ages 6 and 9. My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage 7 and 8. We have a 10 month old together. We all live together. My seven year old stepson is severly autistic, nonverbal, and hyperactive. These are some, not all of the meds he has been on in the last year: clonidine, resperdol, remeron, paxil, zyprexa, trileptal, seroquel, revia, inderal, propanalol. Some of them were very bad, some worked for a couple of weeks. We always return to the same behaviors. Here is a list of some not all of the behaviors: he hits, pinches, scratches, and tries to bite, he has choked his 10 month old sister, he has shoved her to the ground for touching him, he has urinated and defacated in his floor and mixed it together to make finger paint for his carpet and walls( he is potty trained ), he hits and scratches himself to the point of getting blood, he opened his window at 11:30 at night and proceded to empty his entire bedroom out the second story window including clothes, toys, sheets, blankets, pillows, heat vent, night light, he has also just climbed out on the roof(we have a lock now)he hurts the other children every time we get in the car, my step daughter has bruises and scratches all over her arms and legs, my baby has 2 from today, he has opened the car door while driving down the interstate, he rarely sleeps past 4a.m. when he wakes up he screams at the top of his lungs for about 2 hours, when we take him places he throws himself down on the floor and screams or knocks over displays. We have contacted a behavioral hospital which says they could help but our insurance will not pay for mental health for children. He also has Medicaid but the hospital doesn't take it. I don't know what to do, We are very desparate and no one will help us. We have tried everything from diets, meds, any therapies we could find ot, speach, aba, community services for mr/mh, even writing the congressman. I feel like we are sacrificing the other childrens childhoods and making no progress. All of the other children in the house are scared of him except for my 10 month old, who hasn't learned yet. It is taking it's toll on my marriage and my relationship with my children. Also my husband is active duty military which leaves me as the primary caretaker almost all the time. Does anyone have any advive????

rids · 07-12-2003, 08:06 PM

Dr Mary Megson- Richmond, VA
She is our specialist, and we come from S GA to see her. Meanwhile, you need to keep him away from the other kids-or eventually DCFS will get called, and then you may have a completely different problem. The state must have a mental health unit somewhere that accepts children. Your insurance by law must pay for mental health for a diagnosed child with autism. I would contact a social worker at school, or one of those community services and see if they can help. Or your state advocacy office may be able to assist you. There is a limit as to how much the rest of your family can take.....I know that for some families, residential placement of their child with autism was the only answer.

cjksj · 07-13-2003, 03:54 AM

Hello,
I have a 10 yr. old autistic son and 3 other children 8, 2 and 5 months. We have of some of the same behaviors occasionally. My son has a full time aide at school and we use the brushing technique, weighted blanket or vest and swinging for my son. These seem to be a calming therapy for him. I know my son does not like alot of people around him, so when I remarried it took time for him to adjust and then when the other children came along we are adjusting again. Also, you may type in autism in virginia to find some helpful resources in your area. I was able to find new things for me this way. Always remember you have to be a special person for God to give you such a special child and he would not give us more than we can handle. With me I refused all meds for my son, I felt they would do more harm than good. Maybe to many meds. at once could be a problem. You have to trust your doctor on that one I guess. I hope you find the help you need. Hang in there and Good luck.

------------------

ildanr5k · 07-13-2003, 12:06 PM

Thank you for responding. We have tried the brushing(didn't work), he hated the weighted vest, he does like to swing but only for a few minutes, we have a huge ball that is not all the way inflated that he bounces on. It seems to be a favorite.
As far as school goes he has regressed so much i don't even know where to begin. Last year he could say "put me down" "I want go home" "I want chips" "no" "mean" "water" and "pizza". Now he says chips and pizza. They have cut his speach because "he's not interested". All of the other children in his class are verbal. When he started eating nonfood items(barbies, marbles, books, puzzles) they placed him in the corner of the room with two bookcases to block him from getting out. A teacher had to physically move the bookcase for him to be able to leave. How is this teaching him? They call it his "module". It is his work and play area. It is about 3' x 3'. he has a blanket and about 5 toys they decided he wouldn't be able to chew up. He doesn't have his own aide. His iep goals went from learning to ask for things and separate colors, write his name to he will not scratch staff 80% of the time. It is ridiculous. If I were locked in a box all day I would probably act crazy when i got home too. We are all suffering. He only weighs 56lbs but he packs a punch. He refuses to bath, brush his teeth, go in the car, or have any contact with siblings. If I go to play with him in his room he has to be in a certain mood or he just pushes me out and closes the door. His last episode was he sat in the car and his sister looked at him. He then kicked her in the stomach, as she bent over in pain he grabbed her hair and yanked it, she put her hands up to grab her hair and he pinched and scratched her hand. He walks by the other children and they put their hands up to protect their faces. When he is hurting himself by slapping in the head as hard as he can scratching his skin off or banging his head we try to restrain him. His new thing for that is trying to bite your face. His last episode we took him to the er. It took four nurses to hold him down. He was scratching and piching them all, hurting himself, screaming. All they do is up his meds. I think he's had enough meds as he isn't even the same child anymore. He walks around drugged and still has his fits. It's escalating into a very dangerous situation. He has run out into a busy street several times to try to get away. There is no obvious reason for his fits so once it starts sometime it's all day up to 12 hours. What can we do?

Dylansmom27 · 07-13-2003, 09:37 PM

First off, kudos to you for hangin in there. Being part of a blended family is hard enough, but to have a child with disabilities is tough to take on as well. I commend you for looking for help. With that said, and maybe I overlooked something, but what do you have for support in the school area? How does he manage in school? What does his teacher, OT, Speech or other therapists say? Do they see these behaviors at school too?
Do you have a neurologist helping you? Maybe there is something more going on to make him act out so violently. I agree, you need to have support from a behavioralist. A GOOD ONE!!!
Those certainly are a lot of medications to be on (I am sure he is not on all of them at once). This must be taking a lot out of you and you must be a really special mom to be doing what you do. Take care.

Lynn
(mom to Dylan, 6 yrs old autistic. Devin 3 yrs old neuro-typical)

------------------
Mom to Dylan ASD and Devin NT