angry and scared, scared and angry

[tabs2b]

Hello

I've been reading many of the posts from previous months and years. It's just overwhelming the number of women who are undergoing treatment for cervical dysplasia or cancer.

I, too, had never heard that HPV could cause cancer. In the health classes I had (not THAT long ago HPV was called the "warts" virus..but no mention of cancer.

I'm angry at myself for not having regular paps and I'm angry that more information is not out there regarding this problem.

And I'm scared. Scared that the biopsy is wrong and instead of severe dysplasia, I will have cancer. Friends and family think I am overreacting--and hopefully I am! But, I know this is something I will have to worry about for a long time regardless of what the LEEP outcome will be.

Sorry to ramble...I'm having the LEEP next Wed and I'm just getting anxious. I'm very ready for the surgery and the waiting to be over, but very frightened too.

Thanks for listening.
T~

[dagiffen]

i did have cancer but since you are being treated early even if it turns into cancer there is still alot of hope. i had paps every year on time! this years pap was abnormal in Jan. the nurse called to send me to OBGYN and said do not worry it may just be HPV, what the heck i ask?? so i look it up and from reading htink well ther is no cure but it said usualy does not cause cancer...so i did not worry. i had acopo in feb. came back moderate/severe dysplasia, my doctor said do not worry we wil do a LEEP and 90% of the time there is never another problem, so march i have aLEEP and do not worry, still seems no big deal right? results come back he calls to have me come in, i did not bring my husband becasue he said not to worry.....he tells me i have squamous cell carcinoma that is micro-ivasive and adenocarcinoma in situ, they are not sure if the leep got it there is a chance, and sends me to GYN/ONC still telling me this is a little more serious but do not worry..at this point i am worried, the cancer word was said! the GYN/ONC pathologist reviewed my slides and said the margins were clear the LEEP got the squamous cell carcinoma that was invasive, but margins were not clear on the AIS not meaning they did not get it, just hat they could not be for sure, i could have another LEEP as treatment. well i had already made up my mind, i am only 25 but my husband and i have 2 beautiful children, and we did not plan more, so i choose to have a hysterectomy, a week after my consult i had surgery (this past monday) my pathology report came in friday, the leep had in fact gotten everyhting my cervix did not have cancer, not even dysplasia, it was perfectly healthy after the LEEP. I am still very happy to have had ahysterectomy, no more periods, no more cancer worries, not much pain from surgery....etc etc. so i hope my story helps you, even if it is cancer, since they are watching you now, they can still get it, the only time to worry is if it is progressed, worry will just make your body sick! i do not know if i have HPV or not, i was never tested, but am requesting it at my follow up in 2 more weeks, but i have done alot of research, take vitamins, espically folic acid, quit smoking if you do so! there is also a major magazine with a 3 page article in it this month, i am not sure if i can say the name on the board or not???? i have not read it yet, but my sister called to say she did and it was very informative. if you have any questions feel free to post, i am on all of the time while recovering from this hsterctomy, i am not allowed to do anything bt sleep or surf...lol.. my husband gets onto me if i do anything!! i am so bored!

[Trooper]

Originally Posted by tabs2b

Hello

I've been reading many of the posts from previous months and years. It's just overwhelming the number of women who are undergoing treatment for cervical dysplasia or cancer.

I, too, had never heard that HPV could cause cancer. In the health classes I had (not THAT long ago HPV was called the "warts" virus..but no mention of cancer.

I'm angry at myself for not having regular paps and I'm angry that more information is not out there regarding this problem.

And I'm scared. Scared that the biopsy is wrong and instead of severe dysplasia, I will have cancer. Friends and family think I am overreacting--and hopefully I am! But, I know this is something I will have to worry about for a long time regardless of what the LEEP outcome will be.

Sorry to ramble...I'm having the LEEP next Wed and I'm just getting anxious. I'm very ready for the surgery and the waiting to be over, but very frightened too.

Thanks for listening.
T~

Well, I had annual paps since I had my first period. In February '03, my annual pap showed an abnormality. Three colposcopies and biopsies later, I am scheduled for a LEEP next Tuesday. I'm one day ahead of you.

I'm not angry or really scared. I'm just taking this one day at a time and not thinking about it too much. I've had a year of dealing with this as my doctor said sometimes the lesions heal themselves.

I'm sure I'll be a little upset on Tuesday morning, but I want to get this done and over with. I don't think that you need to worry about this the rest of your life. After the LEEP, you will go every few months for another pap until you have negative results for (I believe) 3 paps.

I know it takes a while for cancer to develop from dysplasia.

Just relax and don't worry! I know easier said than done, but don't make it worse for yourself.

Hugs,
Trooper

editied to add that I am 32 years old now with no children

[tabs2b]

Thanks to you both for the replies!

dagiffen--I hope your recovery is going well! You sound so positive which is great!

Trooper--the reason I am so scared is that it has been several years since I have had a pap--life was just too hectic--and the reason I am a bit angry is that I think the dangers of HPV are not widely known. I hope your procedure went well last Tuesday!

But, I am feeling better. I had the LEEP on Wed. and it was not bad at all. I've had very little pain. Now, I am just waiting for the final pathology results which I should have on Tuesday.

Please wish me luck!
T~

[sara52]

Hello.....I have also been were you and the others are at...In 1997 I had an abnormal pap and was called back for a colposcopy and biopsy....I thought one or maybe 2 biopsies..No such luck for me.....When he painted my insides with a very stong vinegar solution I heard him say "Oh my God" I knew I was in trouble from that second on....I had regular yearly paps for many years and they were always normal....I made a big mistake thinking I didn;t need to have them that often anymore...I was 42 at the time.....It had been 4 years since my last pap...He took 10 biopsies that day and he was not encouraging at all when he was finished....4 days later I get a phone call and the nurse says the Dr. wants to speak to me...He got on the phone and appologized for doing this over the phone but there was no need for me to come to the office...He said I had squamous cell carcinoma and that it was very active and spreading..He then told me that he had already made me an appt. with an oncologist gynecologist at a cancer center 100 miles away......I was in a daze and initially refused to go to another Dr. I wanted him to take care of me...I had a good friend that had cancer-in-situ and he took care of her and did a hysterectomy at a local hosp...In other words I wasn't processing what he was telling me at all.....He finally made me realize I needed more than he could give and the Dr. he was sending me to was the best he knew....When I saw the oncologist it was the scariest day of my life...Just walking into a cancer drs. office is very unsettling....He initially thought I might only need a cone biopsy....This is done for 2 reasons...It is a diagnostic surgical biopsy but many times removing that large of a biopsy right at the cancer site is curative, if the margins are clean..Mine were not and I also had angiolymphatic invasion.......I had a radical hysterectomy, not to be confused with a total hysterectomy, and all pelvic lymph nodes removed...I had invasion in 2 nodes.....He told me I had to have had cervical dysplasia for MANY years...He said probably 10 or more for it to have progressed to an invasive cancer....He said this type dysplasia is very slow moving until it reaches a certain stage and then rapidly spreads and once it became a cancer it spread very quickly.....He also told me that is why it is suggested to have yearly paps because it is very easy to miss dysplasia on pap swabs but if you have your tests regularly then it would be found at a much sooner time than what mine was.....I saw him regularly for 5 years and am now declared cured and cancer free....Your dr. doing a LEEP, is in my opinion, very good news for you...Mine knew a LEEP would not do anything for me so I find that encouraging and I think you should too.....Remember this.....Dysplasia is not cancer, it is a change in the cells that can in some people progress to cancer if not taken care of......Even with an invasive active cancer it is possible to beat cervical cancer......Please let us know how this turns out..
Sara