still hanging in there....

Tobias12 · 05-03-2004, 06:06 PM

Hello all. I'm not sure if many of you will remember me, but I came to these boards 3 - 4 months back seeking help for my morphine addiction. I'm still off the pills, other than what is prescribed to me to help me sleep....Restoril i think it's called. And I only take that if i've been up a couple days and can't get normal sleep. I just wanted to stop by and say hello and thank you for those who helped me with either similar stories or sound advice. Thanks you chef, Rosie, John 3:16, happy dad, banker, and the twin sisters (cant remember your names..) plus anyone else I may have missed.

I still get the occasional craving. I'll still have days where my bowels are messed up. And I still have trouble sleeping. But I'm not swallowing pills. thanks gang. I'll try to stop buy more often.

no patience · 05-03-2004, 10:06 PM

thats awesome tobias keep up the great work you're doing great kelleigh

rosietee · 05-06-2004, 03:35 AM

Tobias, that is so awesome! Are you going to meetings? Please share how you are doing it. I went through detox a couple weeks ago and the bowels are my biggest problem too. Still hanging on to that Immodium, though not as much.

luv,
rosie

Banker · 05-06-2004, 06:53 AM

Congrats on being clean... especially from Morphine. How horrible you wds must have been. I do remember you and I'm very happy you doing it! But Rosie asks a good question, how ARE you doing it? Now you can help US and give us some words of wisdom. I'm up early to work... took off yesterday to 'work from home' but I've been very depressed and didn't get much done. So, I'm going to work a little before the kids wake up so I'll have something to show for me not being there yesterday.

Rosie - are you telling me you are STILL having problems? That's a little scary. How did you feel after detox and how do you feel now? How are you handling the cravings? How hard is it right now? Obviously, you are doing a great job!!

Tobias12 · 05-09-2004, 07:17 PM

Sorry I didn't reply earlier...I can't get to these boards nearly as often as I would like. The whole drug addiction thing was hidden from my family for the years I was on vikes and the months I was on morph. I feel terrible about that but I couldn't bear to see the disappoinment in my wife's eyes. That poor woman must have thought I had contracted some weird form of asian flu during the restless legs (a.k.a. kicks)

No...I never went to any meetings...although I can see the need for them. The loneliness and self-loathing/pity of drug-addiction/withdrawal isn't something to be taken lightly. In a way...these boards were my meetings. All of your experiances let me know that I wasn't alone with this. That helped me more than I can properly express. Man, that loneliness that would just suck the breath out of me...scared to death my wife would find out...scared to death I would overdose...scared to death I would get pulled over with a pocket full of pills and lose my family. Yeah...all of you helped me deal with that.

I had been taking vicodin for a few years when a truckload of mscontin fell into my lap. Oddly enough...I started taking that to get away from the vikes. Instead of 10 to 20 pills a day...I would take one. I though life was good. By the end of the week I was taking 1 every 2-3 hours. And then 2. You get the picture. I had withdrawn from vikes a few dozen times and I thought thats as bad as things could get. When the morph ran out, I soon realized I was in for a big surprise.

I found these boards while looking for a clinic to check myself into...I was 12 hours off the morph and things were getting hairy. The loneliness was setting in and my feet wouldn't stop tapping. I spent a few hours reading your threads ...and decided to try to tough it out.l Spent 3 days either in bed or on the couch. My elbows and knees were rubbed raw from writhing. Anyway...not to dwell on that....I guess what I'm trying to say is instead of meetings and clinics I turned to all of you for support. Chef...you out there champ? You helped me by letting me know that things could be worse. Hell..I though my 4 days without sleep was bad til you shared your stories with me.

I wanted to say more but storms are moving in...and here in Detroit when it rains we tend to lose power. I'll try to stop by more often and offer what I can...Til then...thanks gang. I'll be thinking of you all.