Whomever told you that eating 3000 calories is full of himself. But it is true lifters do eat more calories than you might think.
You gain a six pac by a combination of proper eating habits, diet and a good weight training workout program. Yes, you do have to eat a certain amount of calories to fuel your body's metabolism. To turn it into a fatburning engine.
The body stores fat in various places and the first place on many is the stomach area. As the body takes fat from all over as energy and where it was first stored...will be the last to go. At your height, the weight is right but just need to work the stored fat off.
People confuse losing weight with losing bodyfat...not quite the same. Muscle is denser than bodyfat. A tangerine size portion of muscle weighs about the same as two grapefruit size portions of bodyfat. So you can lose bodyfat, lose inches, build mass/ gain muscle, look more defined and yet stay much the same weight on the scales. The ideal is to burn more calories than taking in. Yes, lifters do consume more calories then you might think but they also work the body hard too and eat right to get there.
So up your protein intake (about a gram per pound of lean body mass). Tuna, skinless chicken, lean red meat, eggwhites, cottage cheese...that sort of thing. Protein shakes are used add to the diet if needed. It also helps repair and build lean muscle mass during and after exercising. Cut the overly processed carbs. Eat complex carbs like whole grains, beans and fiberous veggies for examples. The good fats include flaxseed oil/olive oil/nuts/peanut butter. Cut the sugary sodas if you havent already and drink plenty of water.
Eat 5-6 smaller meals a day about three hours apart. This will help keep your metabolism stoked up and will not feel so hungry til the next meal.
Weight training forces your body to work harder and, in turn, burns more bodyfat than just cardio alone. It will also keep your metabolism up longer after you lift. A three day a week "split" is a good beginning. Lifting moderately heavy weights for 4 sets of 10 reps or lower (6-8) for at least an hour/90 minutes a session. Be sure to rest a minute between each set and stretch/warmup first. Be sure to work both upper and lower body to get complete results. It is suggested that any cardio be done after lifting or on nonlifting days.
Time, patience, determination and stay motivated. The muscle mags will help give you some good tips but you can find the same through the internet too. I believe if you look through the Exercise and Fitness forum, you will find some good advice there. Go through the "Search" and look for Naxis's postings on this subject as he is a lifter.
Now, I am a woman also and have been lifting for over a year and a half. This to lose bodyfat and gain strength. Lost 62lbs of bodyfat and gained some muscle. I found I liked lifting and ran with the premise. Started by taking a year's worth of college Women's Strength classes with workouts the same as the guys....only the starting weights were lower for the women. I progressed higher in poundages as I was naturally strong and wanted to see how far I could take this. Easily out striped the other women during that first semester and during the rest of the year...as each new class started anew (with a few repeat students). Since then my workouts have drifted into a combination of strength and powerlifting. Been working out at home with an Olympic Style adjustable bench with leg extension and barbell/plates. At my age (52), I just want to keep my strength for as long as possible. That and with a diet pretty much as outlined ... for better overall health too.
Good luck.