When I went in for the last pap in October 2003, I had quit smoking the month before, was eating right, taking vitamins every day, even making an effort to exercise (which really is an effort, considering my daily schedule). I was honestly expecting it to stay the same or even be moderate, but to have my gyn call me this morning and say severe and it's spreading fast is just a COMPLETE shock to me - I WANT A CIGARETTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got really teary - eyed when I was talking to him, not because it was a shock to be abnormal (I knew it was coming back abnormal) but to hear the words "severe", "spreading fast" & "surgery as soon as possible"; I just wasn't prepared for that! I'm still not.