How bad will it be.....someone?

[DJJester]

Ok, here's the problem

I've posted on here before asking about Suboxone and got a lot of helpful responses. Only difficulty was that I called around and there is only one doctor in my area who works with addicts and prescribes Suboxone and his waiting list is enormous and his charges are $400 for the initial visit plus $100 each week thereafter. OK, so, didn't do that.
I've been insufflating somewhere between 80 and 120 mg of Oxycontin for the past few months. I ran out of Oxy a few days ago and have been taking about 10 7.5/500 Lortabs......I've already started feeling a bit of withdrawals, but nothing really bad.
Now, here's where I'm really screwed. I seem to no longer have a source for Oxy's and my girlfriend and I are leaving for our long planned vacation to Bora Bora in 6 days. Today is July 29th and I have enough Lortab to last me for 2-3 more days WHICH MEANS that I will be right in the throes of withdrawals at the beginning of the trip which will last from Aug 4th till August 14th. Now, I do have Clonidine 0.1mg (40tbs)and 0.2mg(20tbs) , Ativan 1mg(27tbs), Temazepam 30mg(18tbs), Immodium 2mg, Motrin 600mg, and Pepto Bismol on hand. Do you think that will be enough to make the worst of the withdrawals at least tolerable so that I can enjoy this vacation? What else can I do? PLEASE someone help me out. We've been planning this vacation forever. I feel like God is punishing me for being an addict, and maybe he is, but I don't want to have a horrible time and I certianly don't want to ruin this trip for my girlfriend. Any advice about anything extra I might be able to do would be helpful. Supplements? Exercises? Foods? Also, do you think with the meds I have that it will at least be tolerable enough for me to enjoy myself? How much does the Clonidine and Lorazepam actually help? I've never used it before.
Thank all of you so much for your help and support the first time I mailed. I really do want my life to be back to normal. I know that my hand has been forced, but I think I'm going on the right track. In fact, my Oxy connection today said she might be able to get me more when I get back and I told her no. By then, I should be all the way through the withdrawals and only have to fight the cravings. I've done it before though. I was clean for almost two years before this. I can make it again. Forever this time. Thanks again for any help or support.

Jester

[formygirls3]

the clonidine and ativan will help lots, and they really helped with my withdraw from lortab. I hate you have to go on vacation in withdraw but some folks say it is good because it gets you out of your normal surroundings and talkes your mind off you withdraw with the new all around. I have never personally experienced this but I do know, a drive in the country allways helped when I was pill sick. If it were me I would probably do what ever I could to get enough to last thru the vacation, and then worry with it when I got home but it doesnt sound like you have that option, so be strong and try to enjoy your trip-
Teresa

[DJJester]

Please someone give me a little bit of support. I hope I didn't say anything wrong or offend anyone with my previous post. I know that there are lots of caring, compassionate and generous people on this board. I pray that no one is saying "This is what you get, you've ruined your great vacation" I am so sad right now. This trip was given to us as a gift and I can't ruin it. Its Fri night right now and I'm throwing the rest of my pills down the toilet as I write this. I'll be coming to this board for support for the next five days, so please someone write back to me. I can't tell my girlfriend about this, who is the one who will be taking care of me for the duration, because she left her last boyfriend because of an extreme drug addiction. Although his addiction messed up his life, mine has not surfaced in such a negative way.........but if continued, it will. I am a 25 yr old college student, spent 6 years in the military and have a whole beautiful life ahead of me. I just need some people to talk to who can help me through this.

So, I'm done flushing them. That almost killed me, but I did it. I did it for my girlfriend. I love her too much to ever let her be unhappy. We're leaving for Bora Bora on the 4th and arriving on the 5th. That night ( which is her birthday ) we're having the honeymoon dinner on the beach. I can't see myself vomiting and having diarrhea while we have this beautiful candlelit dinner. I love her too much to ruin this vacation because of my stupidity. So, as of now, I have 5 days until we leave and 6 days until that night. Someone please tell me the worst of it will be over by then. I've done withdrawals before. The first time was only about 3 days, but my habit is about 40mg higher and has lasted much longer this time. Last time I tried I only made it 3 days and then relapsed. Do most people start feeling human again around day four?

Like I said earlier. I have Clonodine, Ativan, Immodium, Temazepam for sleep, and Motrin 600. The biggest problem for me is the leg pain and twitches. Does someone know of anything that can help with that? I read in a previous post about quinine water. What is this? How does it work? How much do you take? Does anyone know of something else to help with the leg pain. Mine is exceptionally bad because I have two ruptured lumbar disks.

I really pray that someone writes back. I just need someone to talk to. Anyone who has been through this before or is going through it now. A helping hand, a shoulder, a word of inspiration...........WE all know the mind is a powerful force. Just someone telling me that my withdrawals will only last 2-3 days may make that happen.

Someone tell me how much Clonidine or Ativan helped them with their withdrawals. I would really appreciate anything.

Thanks so much to anyone who responds. Everyone who is in the same boat as me. Keep your head up. Focus on your goals and your loved ones.

[DJJester]

Thanks for the support Formygirls. I tried to get enough to last through the vacation, but it isn't going to happen, so I figure the sooner I start w/d's the sooner I'll be better. The hardest part is that I have a ton of stuff to do before we leave and I know that last time I went through w/d's without the Clonidine and Ativan, I couldn't concentrate enough to accomplish anything. I really hope it helps enough to allow me to get everything in order before I leave. I really hate the fact that it has to be this way, but it does. How long have you been clean? I was clean for almost 2 years before this 9 month stint. Did a great job at work, got in great shape, life was good. I can't believe I've fallen this low again. Don't you hate that? Well, tell me your story....who are you, why are you here? Thanks again!

[John 3:16]

Hi DJ,

First off- my hats off to you for serving and sacrificing for this great country of ours! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

What saved me from the twitching that you described and the restlessness and anxiety was a drug called Neurontin. It is actually a drug for nerve pain but is used for a variety of other things (as alot of meds are).

I tried quitting a 25 a day Lortab habit numerous times and would make it a week or so and always cave. I finally turned to the subutex and was on it (for the most part) for nine months but was CUT OFF from the doctor who prescribed it because he decided I had to join his 4 night a week therapy program in order to refill my subutex. I said, "no thanks" and found a new addictionologist, but think that was probably the best thing that could have happened for me.

Like I said, he put me on Neurontin for the twitching, restlessness, and anxiety, clonidine for the shakes and sweats, and Provigil, which is a stimulant, and, ofcourse, I was already on an anti-depressant of which he would have put me on had not I was already on one. I have managed to stay clean (with the exception of using three days after I found out I had cervical cancer) for almost 3 months- MONUMENTAL for me! So you can do it, too!

I feel for you though as my family went snow skiing in March and at the time I was in withdrawals from the subutex (BTW, this is an opiate as well but used for maintenance as you do not get "high"). Try snow skiing and teaching a 6 and 4 year old to snow skii in withdrawals! But, I made it through and enjoyed it the best I could! Now how many days until you leave? Five? You will be over the worst of the physical withdrawals by then! That's good and the change of scenery, as one poster mentioned, may be good for what follows the physical withdrawals (lethargy and some depression). Try to stay busy and enjoy yourself!

I hope all goes well for you. Keep me posted! Take care and God bless,
michelle