New Crisis

[Brenda1953]

Just when I thought it couldn't get worse.

As I've mentioned, I used benzos at fairly high doses for weeks, maybe even over a month and I was previously addicted to them.

I had a little hiding place for my stash. There's a real problem here with people breaking in and stealing your drugs.

I thought no one would find this hiding place. I went on the assumption that anytime I left someone could get in. The deadbolt on door has been sprung so many times all it takes is a little kick to open the door. I know. I've done it when I couldn't find my key.

The stash is gone.

I cannot go through a CT from benzos. I never have since I tapered before. But from everything I've read it can be more problematic in different ways than opiate wd.

I have nightmare visions of ending up on a psych ward in a place where they can't even treat opiate addiction let alone benzos and being put on huge doses of Thorazine or something.

My brother lives in MD. So my plan is an emergency trip there. I am hoping that since I will have access to many hospitals and hundreds of doctors I will be able to find one.

I spent the entire night in a kind of continuous panic attack. This is not opiate wd.

I'm not sure how I'm going to make the drive. It's 9+ hours. With a dog. There's the DC beltway to navigate. I don't even want to think about that. The few times I've done it have been like a nightmare to me. I'm not used to traffic and crazy drivers. I just kind of get in one lane and stay there. Whether it moves or not.

If anyone knows any doctors in MD please let me know.

Brenda

[Twinlynn]

Brenda! Try not to panic (tho I can just imagine how you are feeling!!) Ask your brother to check the local hospitals--or call a few doctors as soon as possible this morning. Maybe he can get you an advance emergency appt, after they understand your situation. If not...just go straight to the ER of a hospital he recommends in his area.

I assume from all your've told us that your own doctor or ER in your area would not be the least bit sympathetic? Even tho benzos can cause problems that opiates don't?? Did you phone?? Just wishing I could save you that 9 hour drive.

Please let us know asap how you're doing...we'll all be worrying. xxx Lynn xxx

[Brenda1953]

I emailed my ex at work to tell him I was leaving today. Since I provide a useful service to him in that I dog sit his completely untrained half Chow 60 pound puppy, he offered me some Restoril.

Granted it's a very weak benzo but I think I can stave off any acute wd with it.

That was my main concern. Locked on some psych ward and being force fed Thorazine.

I can deal with some anxiety and sleeplessness.

Brenda

[chefob1]

im clueless about thorazine.....i know you can have seizures from prolonged benzo useage,but what exactly is thorazine and what does it do for you......chef

[Brenda1953]

Thorazine is an anti psychotic drug. During my youth when I would take any pill anyone gave me, I took some Thorazine once. It was horrible. I was completely paralyzed but aware of everything going on.

I'm really not worried about seizures. They're relatively rare even in people using benzos at high dosages. I'm more concerned about the complete insomnia and the danger of temporary psychosis which is more common in a cold turkey wd.

Since I live in such an enlightened area of the country, I have these visions of complete meltdown and being hauled off to a psych ward and being medicated with horrible anti psychotic drugs. It's just not something I'm willing to risk.

I want to be completely drug free but I have to do this one more slowly. And believe me, this will be one of the most rapid tapers anyone has ever seen. Because I want all this poison out of my body.

Brenda