Feel like i am going crazy

PAmermaids · 09-13-2004, 11:28 AM

I know i need to go to my psychiatrist, even tho i think he is a jerk, he absolutely does not give me time of day, i understand he is busy, however, i am getting very frustrated and depressed over this entire ordeal. also i can't get an appointment anytime soon, and i don't even see my therapyst for 2 more weeks, i am suposed to see her every week she is on vacation! I went to my fam. doc. but he also rushes me, and he is mostly concerned with the weight loss, he is sending me to a nutritionist. I need to vent, i have no one to talk to about this as no one understands me. I have been on meds for depression since i was 12. i have only been diagnosed with ADD this past year, i don't know what it is, i feel like adderal is making me crazy, maybe its not the adderal, i dunno, my OCD has worsened, which i did bring up to my psych. at my last appointment, he said it was not a big deal. I think it is, i scratch my arms and legs to pieces, i don't even realize i am doing it that bad like i can't stop, i am trying really hard. i am SO forgetful and lately can't even speak right, i say my words in the wrong odrer all the time. i feel so depressed and i don't care about anything anymore, i really litterally want to crawl in a hole and die, i just don't care, my kids give me hope but with my being tired all the time, irritable, staying in the house all the time, i am not even being a good mother, i really just need to talk to someone i guess. i just don't understand how the doctors seem to not be able to get my meds and dosage right, and don't even seem to care, i almost feel like i can't function, and school is going down the drain for me, i have to get it together but i don't know how, i depend on my docs to help and its just taking too long...i need help soon i don't know how i am even getting up in the morning anymore. thanks for listening, i know my problems are very small compaired to many ppl in this world, i just want inside my head to be normal, i feel like thats not alot to ask, thanks again, Liz

WrenFrazier · 09-13-2004, 02:03 PM

Sounds like you're really suffering. I hate that frantic, overwhelmed, nowhere to get help sort of feeling, but at least it sounds like you're looking for help, and eventually that will get you what you need.

It sounds like your psychiatrist is a real jerk. I have OCD stuff with my ADD and if my symptoms were getting worse on new meds, my doctor would think that it IS a big deal. If you can afford the initial visit fee, I would recommend finding a new doc for your meds. If there's anyone you can ask for a referral, that'd be good, so you can know what the doc is like. You're a woman, right? Well, maybe, too, you should try a female doctor. I'm a woman, too, and I've discovered that female doctors seem to pay more attention to what you tell them and they're less likely to dissmiss symptoms as unimportant. I think that sometimes men have that bias ingrained in them that women are overemotional, so even if they become psychiatrists, they have a hard time getting past the bias and taking the needs of their female patients seriously.

I wish you the best of luck--I hope you get some help soon!

WrenFrazier · 09-13-2004, 02:09 PM

I wanted to add that if it isn't practical to find a new psychiatrist, then I have a suggestion. Try writing down all the symptoms that are bothering you and all your concerns about the medication, and bring in a clear list the next time you see him, and read it out to him instead of trying to remember everything. I do it sometimes when I have lots going on that I need to tell a doctor. In addition to jogging my memory, it helps me to stay focused and to communicate clearly, and I've discovered that it often forces doctors to pay attention and makes it much harder for them to breeze past or dismiss what I say.

good luck!

Adult ADD · 09-16-2004, 11:54 AM

PAmermaids,

All i have to say is I know where your coming from, when you say you feel like your going crazy and you don't have anyone to talk/relate to. There are soo many days that I feel soo alone in this world, like noone understands me. This website is just absolutely wonderful because I'm realizing you know what? I'm not alone and there are other people that feel the same way I do.

Hang in there, especially for the kids!! Good luck, and please keep me posted on your progress.

Kathy287 · 09-16-2004, 10:18 PM

Liz,
when I read your post it reminded me so much of what we went through with my son. He was only 4 when he was diagnosed with ADHD and they put him on Ritalin. He lost so much weight, he went from the 95th percentile to the 10th. The family doctor sent us to a Psychiatrist. He also diagnosed him with OCD and Asperger Syndrome. We tried many drugs. Derik also never slept. He would sleep about 2 hours then be up for 8 hours, then sleep 2 hours... This was very tiring on me. I never knew when he would be up in the middle of the night climbing on top of the washer, etc. Then he was put on Adderall and Clonidine, this worked for him. He now takes Adderall only in the morning and a small dose of Clonidine in the morning with it and then a larger dose at bed. Derik would also battle with depression and when that happened, he was given Remeron, it always seemed to work. He is now 12 and doing great. He still takes Adderall and Clonidine. I don't know what meds you are on but these worked great for him. I do know from experience that what works for one may not work for another, but I thought it may help. Also, it sounds like you really need someone to stand along side of you to help you fight this battle. If you don't have someone, find someone, a friend or relative who could go to appointments with you so maybe you wouldn't get "blown off". Good luck.
Kathy