Concerned Father

eyemitalian · 10-19-2004, 03:08 PM

This may be a little long. I'll know when I'm done typing, so bear with me. My wife an I are having a bit of a disagreement about our youngest son. He is almost 11 months old and seems to be very far behind in his physical development. He can't sit, doesn't crawl but will stand on my lap firmly if I am holding him. He just started holding his bottle about 3 weeks ago. We are putting him through Physical Therapy to try and get him up to speed.

He has been back and forth to the doctor numerous times. Once for RSV which he did have. The pediatrician goes back and forth with her growth chart. One month, OH, he's not growing, next month WOW, he's doing great. One extreme to the next gets kind of bothersome. I don't like the pediatrician but my wife feels a bond to them because she deliverd both kids. When do we say, OK let's just let him develop at his own rate with the help of PT? On top of the RSV, he's been tested for Cystic Fibrosis (Negative), EEG for seizures (Negative), Upper GI (Negative) and Lower Bowel test for digestive problems (Negative). He did have 5 ear infections in his first few months. This was alot and they suggested tubes. I felt he was too young and suggested to my rather unhappy wife that we should give it some time as I felt he was just to young. We waited and now his ears are fine, no damage and they don't suggest we do the tubes anymore. My problem lies with both the Doctor and my Wife. I feel the doctor is sending us on a wild goose chase to see what IS wrong. My wife is at the point she is convinced something IS wrong. Without the doctor even suggesting it, she now feels we MUST test for Cerebral Pulsy. And if that comes back negative, it will be on to something else. When does this all stop, even for a while? My son has been put under for the EEG cause he needed to be sleeping. He has been given Berium for the Upper GI. I feel this is just to much for an infant in his first year, especially when they all come back Negative Thank God. I pray that everything is OK with him. Now sure he exhibits lots of symtoms of lots of things, thus all the tests. But does he need a test every two months to hopefully find out that nothing is wrong? It's draining to go home every night and have my wife searching for answers to something that may not be there. I know it is good to find out early, but when do we say lets hold off? Now my wife is mad at me cause I told her I didn't think we need to go ahead with CP tests. And from my understanding (since I did read about it after her concerns were brought to my attention) it is hard to diagnose CP in anyone under two years of age. Please help me on this one. And her parents aren't very helpful either. Her mother goes histerical if our daughter cracks a fingernail or when our older son threw up, she said he should have his appendix taken out. And her father always says in a joking manner, what is wrong with him? I guess I've always been a person that likes to see how things play out. Not that I don't take care of emergencies, but after all the tests, when is ENOUGH ENOUGH? Sorry, I told you it would be long but thanks for reading and the responses!

Ciao

Ratatosk · 10-19-2004, 03:56 PM

Argh! [removed] DS was born with a bowel obstruction (classic CF symptoms) and spent 6 weeks in the NICU flat on his back. So he's about 6 weeks behind in his physical development -- walking, crawling, sitting; however, his verbal skills are pretty good.

He passed his CF sweattest with flying colors. Even passed his first blood test. Finally when they did an ambry genetic test they determined the mutations he had were Cystic Fibrosis. He has problems digesting his food and needs to take digestive enzymes, otherwise his stools are very very loose. Other symptoms are that he tastes salty. When we kiss him and lick our lips -- salt lick.

In terms of the ear infections. DH had lots of them and bouts of tonsillitis until he was about 2 years old when they put in tubes and removed his tonsils. However, he never Had any physical developmental problems, other than he required speech therapy due to the substantial hearing loss he suffered.

eyemitalian · 10-19-2004, 04:37 PM

Hey, thanks for the response Ratatosk and the other persons that replied. [removed] Anyways, we had a CF test done and all the others I listed already, all Negative. This issue of FINDING something wrong that may not exist is really getting between my wife and I. I want to be understanding to her and want to know if something is wrong as much as her. But, I feel like my son is being a guinee pig keeping the doctors and hospitals in business with all the tests they want done. When is it OK to say lets take a break and how do I get my wife to understand that as well? Like I said, yes he is behind and yes he does have symtoms of all the things he's been tested for and hasn't been tested for. Other than having him consistantly going in for a new test, what can I say to my wife? It doesn't help that she truely believes something is wrong, even though Thank God nothing has been Positive. If any others have a slow developing child and has turned out to have nothing wrong, please chime in. I believe that all children develop at there own rates, although I believe his early respiratory and ear infections have played a roll in his slowness!

Ciao

Ratatosk · 10-19-2004, 04:54 PM

[removed] Don't know where you live, but sometimes in the larger cities there are children's hospitals and they see things that are more common place, where as a doctor in a smaller community or a general family practice doctor might not know what to look for.

We were fortunate that shortly after DS was born a neonatologist grabbed the ball and suspected bowel obstruction caused by meconium illeus, but this was 12 hours after he was born after another neonatologist and a peds doctor gave him the okay. Within 24 hours DS was undergoing surgery in a children's hospital.

We also have a Social Worker at the local clinic who keeps sending "right track" people to us because she thinks he's developmentally stunted. Because he didn't crawl and crawling is NOT considered a milestone 'cuz there are different ways kids crawl and some never do so. DS just started walking at 16 months, but we weren't concerned 'cuz he crawled and walked if we held his hand -- actually he ran, we figure he was just in too big of a hurray and knew he could go faster other ways. One thing DS does do that we think is absolutely remarkable is that he puts words together to make sentences. So we don't think he's tracking too badly.

skyblueeyes7 · 10-19-2004, 05:11 PM

I replied to your question in the general health forum, was just wondering if you got my response, I dont want to retype it if you got to read it, so please let me know. I think my info might really help you.
Thanks