Am I withdrawing?

[New Mommy]

Since my first thread, I cut down to one Norco (10/325) a day, but on Saturday, while shopping, I ended up taking three. (Same old habit, just makes shoppin more easy ) Yesterday, I felt like I had been hit by a mack truck. The night before I had taken Phenergan for nausea, so I don't know if it was the after effects of that or if I am starting the W/D phase since cutting usage down by more than 3/4. It felt like I had a major case of the flu, I just could not hardly move...my legs and arms felt like I had weights on them. I took to Norco's during the day, and it just didn't make it any better. I do feel somewhat better today.
I should have quit cold turkey, but I just can't mentally. I have been quit smoking for 1 1/2 years, and I believe that was harder to do.
Any imput or advice would be appreciated.
Lots of love,
Angie

[Sarandipity]

Hi New Mommy! I can relate to what you are going through. I feel your pain.
Yes, horrible withdrawls. Ours minds will make us forget from one day to the next or one week to the next how bad it used to be. Our minds tell us it wasnt so bad, and you can take just one or just one more. We have survived this long... why not just a little more pleasure? (that was my rationalization)

I told myself that for sooooo long. Until I started going to meetings and made it a priority over EVERYTHING else in my life. (Like today- Im going to a noon AA meeting on my lunch break) Unless you have the tools to recover- cold turkey is just that. It's so hard I know ! Especially on those stressful shopping trips. Heres me: I can find ANY reason under the sun to use! Not just shopping, but I continued to find reasons to use, ... the way someone treated me, the traffic, something on tv, my back hurt, I was bored and so on.

What got me personally to stop is the fear of losing my kids. I knew taking those pills would eventually kill me or my kids. With the help of people on this board- I got myself to rehab. Unwillingly but I was DESPARATE!

I had to realize I was POWERLESS over drugs. All drugs. And the other thing I did personally was finally realized I was powerless over people, places, and things. And then God took over.

It makes me want to cry when I remember those days. I DID NOT want to give up those pills. But I didn't, God did it for me. All I had to do is surrender, I mean get on my knees and beg for him to take over.

That was my experience, sorry if it's a little deep at 9:00 am. I am so here for you if you want to talk- I know how scary it can be! Especially being a mommy. Cutting down to one is good, for the w/d aspect, but difficult without making the commitment.

Have you tried an AA meeting, or calling an addiction doctor. They are understanding and will probably know of a program you can get into- as well as putting you on Suboxone for a short time.

With lots of Love,
Sara

[bburns]

That was great the advice you gave her Sara, you sound so much like what my Dad preaches in the pulpit...that when you come to the end of yourself, you have to surrender and believe me I feel the very same way, I do not want to give this up. But I am not doing it initially for me, but for my family and then I will eventually realize that I benefit the most from it. Where would I go to find out where addiction support groups are in my area?

Brooke

[Sarandipity]

What area are you in? There are meeting everywhere, and a place to go online and find a rehab in your area, I will get the .org address and let you know later, at work right now!

Love,

Sara

[bburns]

I live in the Atlanta area. North GA mtns to be exact about an hour north of ATL but we are used to traveling all over the city so I really don't care where it is as long as it is within an hour.

Brooke