When is enough, enough?

kksellers · 12-11-2004, 11:18 AM

My dad is a 74 year old Stage IV NSCLC victim. He lives alone and prefers that. He was diagnosed a year ago June and went through the standard carbo/taxol treatment which stabalized things. The factor is it slowed things down, but his physical and emotional body suffered greatly. My brother and I had to check on him daily to make sure he ate and took his meds. He was still able to do his personal hygiene care. He stopped treatment last December and his body was able to strenghten. It was safe for him to drive again. He would leave his apartment and do his grocery shopping, drive-through eating, etc. His emotional state was wonderful. In August, he returned for a checkup and had some new spread. He is currently on Iressa and still at home. My brother or I check on him daily. Each day we see him going down. The Iressa has left him covered in sores. His eyelids look like they could bleed they are so red. All he wants to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. We are noticing a smell, so we think he is not attending to his personal hygiene. When is enough, enough? Is it time to say forget the chemo and let him regain his strength and allow his body to mend from the chemo? When is quality of life better than quantity? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

SOCA · 12-11-2004, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kksellers

My dad is a 74 year old Stage IV NSCLC victim. He lives alone and prefers that. He was diagnosed a year ago June and went through the standard carbo/taxol treatment which stabalized things. The factor is it slowed things down, but his physical and emotional body suffered greatly. My brother and I had to check on him daily to make sure he ate and took his meds. He was still able to do his personal hygiene care. He stopped treatment last December and his body was able to strenghten. It was safe for him to drive again. He would leave his apartment and do his grocery shopping, drive-through eating, etc. His emotional state was wonderful. In August, he returned for a checkup and had some new spread. He is currently on Iressa and still at home. My brother or I check on him daily. Each day we see him going down. The Iressa has left him covered in sores. His eyelids look like they could bleed they are so red. All he wants to do is sleep, sleep, sleep. We are noticing a smell, so we think he is not attending to his personal hygiene. When is enough, enough? Is it time to say forget the chemo and let him regain his strength and allow his body to mend from the chemo? When is quality of life better than quantity? Any thoughts would be appreciated.

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This description is too sketchy for me to understand your father's true and accurate condition. IMO ASAP obtain a CANDID prognosis ( including treatment plan ) from his treating physician(s). If there is more that can be done with a reasonable liklihood of improving his condition go for it ! Conversely, if it's determined that nothing else can be done to improve his condition choose quality over quantity.

Good luck.

kksellers · 12-14-2004, 09:58 PM

Thanks for your input. We did return to oncologist yesterday. His cancer is stable, but his body is a wreck. Doc took one look at him and said he needed a break from chemo. That is the choice I had hoped for. I just want dad to regain some strength and be able to enjoy life for a while. Its so hard to know what is right. As for any prognosis or time frame, doc won't make any. He deals more in absolutes than speculations.
Kay

shadowrose40 · 01-14-2005, 09:54 AM

HI

There are no absolutes in cancer, but the doctor is doing your family an injustice by not giving you more to go on.

It's too difficult to determine if quality or quanity is the best choice when you don't know a prognosis.

For instance, a Stage 4 with a 3 month prognosis without treatment and 4 with- well, you get the idea. What's the point of making yourself deathly ill with chemo to add 30 days.

But if treatment makes a difference of months and months? If it's possible it can be halted?

You need more information.

Lady_J_1_01 · 01-17-2005, 06:02 AM

KK,
You do sound weary, and worried with good reason, After finding out the true prognosis, I would encourage you and your brother to seek hospice or another angency to help you out.
They can figure out what he qualifies for and many counties get free monies with which they can offer free services for so many within their county. They can get many things in place for you.
Their may be many days ahead of up's and downs and you do need to save your strength also (we tend to put ourselves last).
Hospice also can free up time doing things like the meds and hygeine, communicate with the Dr. and be a liazon between you all....
Then you can focus your time with dad,as a more pleasent time.
It also helps promote what you need to do in 'your world'..ie..job,bills,sleep ....all awhile lessoning the time worring if dad is ok..
When is enough enough you asked? Only your father can make the descions as to how far he wants to run the race.
In the mean time I hope you can get some help with this heavy load you both have been carring so your focus can be on possibly tying up loose ends with dad and helping him get his 'house in order'. Youll both be in my prayers. Mattie