It's B-O-W-A-N.
When AAPOS had a forum, a pediatric ophthalmologist used to answer questions. He said although most doctors scoffed at eye exercises he would admit that exotropia did respond to some degree. That wasn't a ringing endorsement. Dr. Bowan used to answer questions there as well and had a friendly rivalry going on with the doctor. A search engine should lead you to Dr Bowan's site (we can't post it) and he would be happy to suggest a VT optometrist in your area. As Eyestwo said, you need specific exercises--well, vision therapy is what it's called.
As far as the surgery goes, I can understand being scared, but apparently it's not too bad.
T.