Back to Reality

[donewithit]

Hey all. I am back at work for the first time since last Friday when I began my detox. I feel ok, a little shakey, and am having some mean cravings ('cause I used to just sit at my desk and pop pills all day). This morning was not very good. I woke up at 5:15 as usual, and went to start the shower. I was suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety. My heart was coming out of my chest, my mouth was dry, head spinning, the whole 9 yards. Now, I have read many posts here of people who have had the same experience after detoxing off opiates, anxiety and depression. My question is, does this go away without medication? Is this something I will probably struggle with for the rest of my life? I had an anxiety disorder when I was in my early 20's, which lasted about a year then left as abruptly as it came. I didn't know I was having pannic attacks at the time, I just thought I was going crazy. It was only after the condition resolved itself that I was clear headed enough to recognize what had been going on. I vowed that if this ever took over my life again I would see a doctor and go on meds for it. But seeing as my brain is obviously not balanced yet after a week of detox, I don't want to jump the gun. But it is truly debilitating. Any advice?
Amy

[Arememom]

Hey donewithit,

What you are dealing with is related to the withdrawal. But since you have suffered with anxiety in the past and depression can pull you back down where you don't want to be, it wouldn't hurt to get on an anti-depressant. Some anti-depressants work on the anxiety element also. Lexpro is one of those. I've been on an anti-depressant for over 20 years and when I have periods of extreme depression/anxiety, my MD has me take the Lexpro for a few months. Don't be afraid of getting the meds you need to assist you in this hard time. I'd much rather take an anti-depressant for life than live in the hell of the addiction. They say to change your friends and playgrounds. Hard to do when we've used at work, unless you're willing to find a new job. I hope you have a better day. It will get better each day that goes by.

[BeginAgain]

Hi Amy,
The mean cravings hang around for a while. I'm over the 30 day mark and there are still lots of days when I get them and can barely hang on to my sanity. I am on an antidepressant but I have not noticed much improvement in my "blues" and my generally blah feeling. May be that I'm on the wrong AD...I'm checking into getting it changed to something else. The Zoloft I'm on just may not be right for me.

All I can tell you is that I have times when I just have to talk myself down. Sometimes one minute at a time. Yesterday was truly a "white knuckle" day...the only thing that kept me out of trouble yesterday was sheer determination. I certainly didn't WANT to be clean anymore. But I'd tell myself..okay I'm just going to give myself until noon. If I don't feel better by then maybe I'll give up. But when noon got there, I'd think..okay I can make it until 2pm. An so on until the day finally ended and I got through. I wish I had a better way I'd happily share it with everyone, but I just don't. Sometimes you do whatever it takes.
I don't know if the anxiety and depression goes away without medication. I hope someday to be off EVERYTHING but my hormone pill and maybe a vitamin. There was a time when I didn't need AD's. I was clean 11 years before my relapse. I hope I can put together atleast 11 more....on moment at a time if necessary.
Hope you are feeling better. Hang in there.

[TCHRIS]

You did not become addicted in one day, and its awsome you detoxed yourself, so give those opitate receptors a min to catch up you....I had a habit like yours about 4 years ago and went cold turkey with the help of a 12 ste program and stayed good and strong for a year and then decided to jump in a sinking boat of OCs and can not get off them by myself right now I have titrated down to 50mg from about 900mg a day, in the medical field and will proably go on Methadone on soon, we will see if that is the correct thing to do, .who knows, however after much conuseling, you have to give your opiate recp some time they have been soaked with opiates for soooo long and you took it all away from them, they are bored and want some fun, we dont realize that we have messed with one of our pleasure centers and that is what they want....those receptors are left empty after being filled with so much drug for sooo long, so just give it some time...I promise it does get better...just never go back, it gets harder and harder to come back around after each time, just hang in there.....good luck

[Constant]

Please, please, please don't expect too much too soon. BeginAgain, how long have you been on your AD? You very well may need to change as your brain receptors are a bit screwy right now and you have to find an AD that will uptake. It's kind of a roll of the dice but I hear cymbalta and good 'ol prozac work well under these circumstances.