I am back and need Help please!!

hoapfloats · 11-19-2005, 08:25 PM

Hello everyone my name is Kelley I used to post a lot last year under the screen name Daisy14.Anyways I am very addicted to opiates{vikes,Tussionrx}and my life is so out of control now.I am a full blown addict and I want to stop using opiates but its too hard. I am not strong enough for the wds and depression that comes with stopping.I honestly hate myself now and do not know where to turn.

Please can someone offer any help or support? I want to stop, this addiction of mine has caused me to loose my whole family and worst of all myself.Thank you so much for listening and I hope to hear from someone soon.

Your friend,Kelley

sk777 · 11-19-2005, 08:57 PM

Kelley!! Hon, I would do what I could for you, if I could. Two days ago I wanted to keep using and didn't want to go through the withdrawal. And here I am on Day 1. The fear of it is often worse than the withdrawal itself. I wish I could tell you, pick a date. I did that every week. Finally what I did was, in a moment of strength, a moment of non-withdrawal, a moment I won't lie hours later I thought I must be crazy, was FLUSH IT ALL DOWN THE TOILET. So my source was buying meds on-line, and it will take DAYS to get new ones. So I know I'm going to finish this withdrawal.

I kept meds in the house, even when I was clean, not because I was planning to use again one day but because I kept thinking if I was just strong enough, I could use them for their intended purpose. It's never going to happen. I'm an addict.

Can you go to detox? Is this an option for you? This is a sucky thing to do without help, this time I made the smart move of telling someone I was going through it so she's looking out for me.

I can't tell you what will work, or even what works for me, since nothing has so far. But I know that not having access will go a long way to getting me to clean, when I can be clear-headed and figure out why I got into this mess in the first place (besides the genes, etc).

Be strong Kelley, you have it in you. Maybe it's buried deep right now, under a layer of opioid receptors who are like little spoiled children, scream for their candy, etc. But I know it's there. Let us know how you are doing.

Oh, and I'll say it again. FLUSH. Even have a ceremony. It's never going to work if it's in the med cabinet.

aNewman · 11-19-2005, 09:15 PM

Hi Kelley,
I haven't been on the boards in a long time, but I noticed that my wife had the boards up (seeking insight for an aggrevated stomach), so I thought I'd sign in to see if I remembered any of the veterans from last year (when my wife began her battle to quit opiates).
For some, quitting opiates may be a walk in the park, for others, a lifetime of discipline and lifestyle change. I don't believe that there's any clear-cut method...it all depends on the person, their character, their faith, and their support systems (dr's, family, friends, etc.).
By the numbers, my wife was hooked on a fairly low amount of opiates and it only lasted about a year. Now, here we are over a year later (without any opiates) and there are still some struggles, but the bright side is that she is still alive.
When you think about the fact that opiates mess with your brain, it becomes more understandable that they can make you think outside of reality. You may think that you cannot live without them, but in reality, being without them will let you live rather than die. Continued opiate use will eventually kill you.
Now, please don't ever convince yourself that you can't handle the w/d's or the depression...those are short term issues considering the long term gain. I pray that you have someone in your life that cares enough about you to help you get through this. Everyone needs support!

God Bless,
Derrell

hoapfloats · 11-19-2005, 09:24 PM

Thank you so much Sky777 for replying to my post.You are right I am scared of the wds I just have to be strong and get through it.I have been addicted to opiates for the pat three years.I started by abusing vicodin.Now I take six to eight of the 7.5 vicoprofens which I got from my doc.Then recently I got a bad cold and she perscribed me tussionex(which of coarse I asked for)which is time release 10 mg. of vicoden every per tsp. every 12 hrs.Now I love the tussionex even better the then the vicoprofens because the high lasts like eight hrs. and it makes you so happy and euphoric feeling.I even had the nerve to call her today and say I am still coughing(which I am not) and she called six more ounces of it into to wallgrees.I know this so wrong of me its just when I take it I feel so good and forget about my problems.My family has disowned me and Thanksgivibg is next week and am not wecome to go to my moms which I have for the past 24 yrs. of my life.I am so depressed and ashamed.You are right I need to go to a rehab but I have no insurance.Can I do this without going to a rehab if I go to meetings?Any more help from anyone is greatly appreciated.Thanks again,
Kelley.

hoapfloats · 11-19-2005, 09:36 PM

Thank you so much Anewman for responding to my post.That gives me so much hope knowing your wife made it through her addiction and now a year later she is clean.How did she first stop?Any tips woud be greatly appeciated.She is so lucky to have your support.Talk to you soon,
Kelley.