I'm pulling my hair out and it's Christmas!!!!!!!!!

[Sandyspen]

Mom woke up this morning and said she had a really bad night. Said she woke up totally dizzy, with the room spinning, and felt like she'd pass out.

It scared the poo out of me cause I was thinking a stroke.

My hubby started getting dressed and I went to another room. She sat down on the sofa while we got ready to go to the emergency room. Then I heard her scream, "help me, help me!"

I ran into the living room and she was on the floor. She had gotten up and had a dizzy spell and fell flat. Her head landed on the cushion of a chair. Thank goodness!

We took turns staying with her and getting ready, then off to the emergency room.

5 hours later, the doc said it was degeneration in her right ear, exposing a nerve in her inner ear to cause Vertigo. Gave her a prescription and sent us home. I stopped on the way home to fill her meds and purchased a walker. At least she'd have something to hold on to the next time she got dizzy.

We adjusted it correctly, showed her how to use it, lectured her about walking slowly, watching for more dizziness, yada yada. 1 hour later she's walking all over the house without the walker. I lecture her again and she gets mad!!!!!!!!!

She says I'm just too pushy and give it a break! I showed her the doctor's diagnosis, explained it all again. After she read the pamphlet, she says, "Yeah, but I've never had anything like this so I don't need that walker."

Yowie!!!!!!!! Yep, she doesn't remember the fall, the hospital, the dizziness last night. I don't know why on earth I thought she would. And she will not use that walker.

Good grief, I can't strap her down. I'm just at my wits end.

[Martha H]

She forgot the whole nerve wracking episode. I'm so sorry. Whata horrible Christmas Day for you. It is worse than frustrating. And if she keeps falling, there really isn't much choice left - she will have to be watched 24 hour a day by trained professionals. I'm sorry it was such a bad day for you. Better luck in the coming year!

Love,
Martha

[BarbaraH]

((((hugs!)))) Sandy,

My little mother did the same thing when given a walker. I chose a red one because red was her favorite color - until she forgot that, too. If you can imagine a child pushing something away with a scornful look of distain, that was Mom and the walker. She pushed it ahead, caught up with it, pushed it again and hung onto me for dear life at her older sister's funeral. A few weeks later, she had the under-seat basket loaded and had forgotten she didn't like the walker. She used it for about 9 months, until she needed a wheelchair because she kept falling backwards and I was afraid she'd break her head or hip. She'd forgotten how to walk.

With your mother's diagnosis of degeneration in her inner ear, she may well need a wheelchair so she doesn't fall and break a bone due to the dizziness.

I hope your mom will soon cooperate. It's a frustrating, losing battle to explain anything as it really goes in one ear and out the other. Along those lines, I saw some earrings and one says "IN" and the other says "OUT". I told DH if I get AD, I want those earrings!!

We got a little sign that says "Wit's End --->" and moved it all over the house, so we'd be surprised to see it and laugh. That's the key. Laugh .... or cry. We laughed whenever possible, sometimes maniacally (where is spell-check?!), sometimes mixed with tears.

It may be time to move your Mom into a lovely assisted living facility near your home just to save your sanity. Caregivers give out. Don't beat yourself up because you cannot fix everything. You have your limits. Respect those limits and find a safe place for your Mom to live for when that time comes.

Sending more (((hugs))) - Barbara

[ToBeFreeToRoam]

Hi Sandyspen,

I have to tell you about my dad. Well, about 3-6 mo. ago, he was feeling dizzy a lot of the time. Especially after he had eaten a big meal. We did not take him to the ER, my parents would not have stood for it. He did fall - not really fall, but his legs just sort of crumpled out from under him. Most of the time he was with one of us. And we would just grab him and set him down in the closest place! Then he would rest and after about 1 hour, it would go away again. He could have injured himself badly, but did not!

He is now taking a drug called Meclizine for dizziness and it helps a little. He still gets dizzy, but does not fall. He has a walker - not the nice kind. And 3 canes. He does not use the walker, does not see the need. But, sometimes he does use his canes.

Most of the time, he drags the cane behind him! :> A lot of help that is!!!

His doctor told him to stay off of the riding lawn mower and off of ladders. Well he just uses chairs to climb up, because they are not ladders! We are just so lucky that he has not hurt himself, yet! Their house in not wheelchair usable, is about 45 yr. old.

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Our parents do not want to do what we tell them too. The caregivers and the patients either ones.

Take care.

Love, Wannabe

[Sandyspen]

Hi Wannabe,
They gave Mom Meclizine, too, and her dizziness was better before we left the hospital. The doctor said we'd have to see how long the affect lasted to figure out how often to give it to her.

The problem was that she didn't remember being dizzy in the first place. When I finally calmed down, I started watching and checking her. I was just so afraid she'd fall before I knew to give her another doze.

She was about the same at bedtime, so I gave her another doze anyway. She always gets up during the night.

I'm gonna try one in the morning and one at night for now. He said you can't give more than 3 a day. I think I was over-concerned about not over-dozing her, yet fearful of her falling again.

How often does your dad need the meds.

Thanks so much to everyone who responded. I was just so frustrated yesterday. It seemed absolutely necessary to me that she use that walker! Sometimes it's so hard to accept that they can't remember!

Hopefully, the meds will help. Thank you all. Couldn't make it without you.