I'll tell you about my tramodol addiction

[solars]

Well, I started taking the ultram about 3 years ago for for back pain/nerve pain i have from a major, traumatic back injury. I am still in pain, but you know the pills don't relieve it really... Just make me not care and since i was able to detect addiction within the first month of taking them, i just kept it up to prevent the wd.

So its now day 8 of cold turkey.

today is the first day the physical withdrawal symptoms have lessened almost to the point of completeness. I'll still get a few sneezes in and a couple cold chills (though strangley the "cold turkey" skin has stopped). The mental anguish continues. Major depression, desperate feelings, anxiety and no energy. I am still kinda emotional, but its getting better or turning to bitterness... i dunno which (probably just confused!). All i know is that it sucks and some light is flickering in what seems to be a very long, dark tunnel. Well, its Friday afternoon now (quit my 4 ultram a day habit the previous thursday)

I never abused them or anything, but still i knew the reason for the continued use. I really just don't want that embarrasment and i hate the feeling of an un-natural, external source dictating when its time to dose up. Just not the way i wanted to live and to be honest (im not too irrational today) i have actual driven people i love/loved/friends out of my life in the past because of my new best friend, the tram. I just didn't really seem to care about much of anything else. The WD is horrible, you will start dealing with whatever issues you have placed on hold while you were taking them.


So, i wanted to post today to let everyone know that the physical parts does end and ends relatively quick, but from logical observations, i can assume the mental, anxiety, depression will continue on for some time, but i think its getting better, slowely.

Has there been any posts from someone just beginning withdrawal and then posted a follow-up to there recovery say, three months or even a year down the road and are still successful? I never knew that pills could make life so bearable. This is my second time detoxing off this stuff, hopefully for good.

I am glad to report that for the sleepiness, it can be handled (in my case) with a 10mg dose of flexeril and 10 mg ambien..... Just take the ambien when you are in a dark room lying down, take it and go back to shut eye. The pleasurable feeling of being up and around on it can lead to yet another addiction i assume.

slowly..... trying...... to discover the old me.

[kim4074]

Yes there are several success stories on here, then there are alot of failed attempts too. I have seen alot of people come on here go through w/d's and get everyones support and ideas of what may help get through think they are cured and disappear. To return in 6mos going through it again. Then disappear again so on so on. I was clean since easter and today I found 2 pills and took them. I'm pissed at myself right now. Once the physcial w/d's are done most people think its a walk in the part. I now know that was the easiest part. Its the mental w/d that will make or break you. YOu have to be stronger than it. Unlike me today. But to answer your ? yes there are success stories. I wish I was one of them but I ruined that today. But I will keep moving on towards the ultimate goal which is recovery. That doesnt stop with the physcial w/d's. I wish some people would understand that but we have to learn on our own. But yes keep posting and keep working towards your goals. You can be the next success story. I never left this site once I went through w/d's and it has helped me to remind me of where I was when others go through it. I am not recovered, I am an addict and always will be. I detoxed off lortab 10/500 anywhere from 5-10/day. Good Luck. Kim

[cskalski]

Kim, you should be proud of what you accomplished, and don't get down on yourself. I personally think that talking to a bunch of addicts that are still using can be a sort of trigger in this environment. My sponsor has always told me to proceed with caution in online support rooms. Just being honest. It probably doesn't help to have me here going on and on about my coming off methadone with hydro, but believe me it was/is neccesary.

So don;t be hard on yourself Kim. You feel guilty so I assume your determination is still there to remain drug free. Maybe you can get to a meeting??
Support in person is very, very helpful. I am stuck with 3 kids right now so I can't get to meetings a lot of the time.

Best wishes,

Chris

[kim4074]

Actually coming here helps me with recovery. Everyone reminds me of where I came from. I had so much support on here from such great people I feel like I need to help others. It doesnt trigger anything for me it does get frustrating at times cause some people dont listen to others on here and think they got it beat just to return time and time again. I dont plan on being one of those people. If I can help just one person I have done my job. If I can let one person know that it will be ok. If I can help anyone in their recovery through my own personal addiction and the story behind it I have done my job. I feel as though I owe it to people to be there as they were for me. And to be honest I have made some good friends I can come here and talk about anything and people listen which also prevents me from using. Its holding everything in that gives me the triggers its when I feel I have no where else to turn I turn to pills. So this board has helped me so much why not help others. Sorry Solars for taking over your thread I will give it back now. Just keep posting and stay strong and were here for you when you need us. I wont beat myself up for today I feel as though I failed I thought I was pass that but that is what I am trying to get people here to understand your NEVER pass that stage. Thats what sucks. Ok Solars heres your thread back. Keep your chin up. Kim

[cskalski]

Solars-How bad was the withdrawl from 4 a day? I am just curious since I take 6 to 8 a day for severe rheumatoid Arthritis. I have never really worried about ultram-always seemed to me to be the lesser evil in the pain med department. As a matter of fact, my doctor at our local detox center who got me off of morphine and percocet in 2004 reccommended Ultram and all of the counselors said it was a good drug. So, since all these professional addicition counselors/doctors said it was ok, I never worried about it.
I guess a lot more people than I thought are having a rough time with it.

I really respect your effort to quit. I don't know if I can. I really do have severe pain and I have to keep up with 3 kids as a stay home dad. All are 5 and under so it keeps me running. Just to let you know, I am coming off methadone after 3 months at a clinic to get off of heroin. I am using hydrocodone/vicodin to control the w/d symptoms. I am finding that I am still sweating, have the runs, stomach is turning and churning, but the body aches and restless arms and legs are history since I added Ultram. I really believe Ultram is a seriously powerful drug as of today. I am just not at the point where I can deal with quitting everything at once. My kids are my biggest worry. I can't just lay around rolling all over the bed in agony in front of them. Well, I only got the Lortab/vicodin to get off the methadone and it really didn't work for me until I added the ultram.

Good luck
Chris