Not worried anymore... Not anything anymore...

[JB68711]

Hey, I've been on this board for a few months now. I've been suffering from anxiety and bad depersonalization for the past 5 months. Since Monday, I haven't been overly anxious... which I normally am throughout everyday. My anxiety has been pretty bad.

Last night (Tuesday), I even went to hang out with some friends who I had stopped talking to because of my anxiety. Something I would have never thought to do, but I just felt okay with it.

But I do still have symptoms of anxiety... My thoughts still race, spacing out, problems concentrating... but these things aren't accompanied by worry now... it's all just accompanied by dull feelings, or no feelings. For example: I started wondering if my mind being on overload could cause an aneurism, but I wasn't worried about it... it came more of a curiosity.

Anyway, back to finally hanging out with my friends. It was a big accomplishment, because this has become one of my fears. I didn't freak out or suddenly feel the need to leave... I was fine as far as that aspect of it, I actually felt pretty content. But at the same time, it wasn't that enjoyable. I feel like my personality is gone, and like I just didn't have anything to say. When someone would tell me something, the only thing I could respond with were things like "Really, wow." ... just things that make me sound like I don't care. I tried to be interested... and tried to be vocal, but it just felt so forced and fake... and I was so aware of it. I even felt awkward... I was still monitoring my thoughts, over-analyzing myself... but the feeling of panic never came across me... just dullness. I'm not really scared to hang out with them again... But I don't really feel any reason to... I just feel like I'm boring, no personality, nothing to say.

I'm on no medication... and I just started seeing a psychologist last week, my next appt is on Thursday, so I'm definitely going to talk about this. But for now, what do you think?

[jules174]

Its one of the BIG indicaters of anxietys disorders. I have felt like this on loads of occasions and I have found that its when I get really sick of myself and fed up of fighting the "symptoms" ... With me its like a cycle of anxiety where I'm worried sick that I'm dying and then when I'm totally sick and fed up of battleing it like a deppression where I'm beat and just wanted it all to end. Its difficult for me to explain in words but I'm hoping a fellow sufferer can understand xx

[LUVIZPAIN]

Wow... FINALLY someone in the exact same boat. I too have been with this wierd feeling and anxiety since July. Hard to focus at work... dont really want to do anything. Its so mentally draining. I have been to the Doc who perscribed me Xanax and Zoloft. Which after doing alot of research, i do not take them. Don't want to get addicted plus the withdrawals and side effects they may cause. So at this point, i just deal with it. Some days are better than others. I just have a wierd feeling in my head constantly, and sometimes i feel a little "nervous".. its just real hard to explain. And all this just came out the blue. I still drive, i can still ride my motorcycle, but i can't seem to be in a crowed room with people. I dont panic, it just annoys me and i have to find somewhere quiet. But anyway.. just thought i'd share my story... cuz i finally read someone that seems to be having the exact feelings i have. (not so much full blown anxiety and panic attacks) just that slight anxiety and wierd feeling.... well hope everything goes good with the doc... and post up again. Tell us what he says...

[ocdengineer]

Guys,

I have felt this way as well. Usually it is just being so tired of battling with it that you quit and it some aspects that is great because it should cause the anxiety to be less, but it sounds to me like maybe more of a depression is setting in. I used to be gret for a long time then have anxiety for months and then all of sudden the depression from the battle would set in. I would cry or just curl up into a ball for awhile an then back to the regular anxiety and the cycle would repeat itself. Anyway, my suggestion toeveryone here is to look into Xanax or another Benzo for the anxiety. If you are feeling depressed the SSRI may help, but a lot of times the SSRI's cause more anxiety than they are worth.

Good luck.

[j2006]

The panic/anxiety attacks are gone - but I do suffer every day with derealazation. It is horrible. It makes you feel like you are going crazy. I will be in the middle of a conversation and I just drift off - I am a zombie most of the time. My Dr put me on Celexa to see if it will lesson with that. There is another post on here regarding derealazation. From what it sais is that it will leave once the anxiety is gone. So it is my understanding that we have to do whatever it takes to get rid of anxiety - whatever that may be.