I'm Addicted...

bkkscot · 11-09-2006, 02:18 AM

I'm an American and I live in Thailand. I've lived here for a dozen years. I've always like opiates as well as other drugs. I've stopped smoking pot or snorting coke and my drug of choice is now Dicodeine, or Codeine Tablets.

I get 60 MG pills from Cambodia by the hundreds so I'm rarely ever close to being out as I go every couple of months. I can get morphine pills but they don't do the same thing for me.

But, I digress...I take 2-4 60 mg pills per day. A year or so ago I was in the hospital and somehow managed to kick the habit for 3 weeks. I didn't feel all that bad really, maybe it was whatever meds I was taking in the hospital.

Anyhow - I tried a few weeks ago to stop cold turkey and after two days I was in agony - I couldn't sleep, tossed and turned and just felt terrible. My body ached, cramped and finally I gave in and took two pills.

So now here I am - I want to stop but I can't. I've got a readily available supply and frankly, most of the time I like the buzz. But I don't feel good when I wake up and I noticed I've become more and more depressed. I've got Xanax and Tramol for what it's worth and maybe those could help me thru the pain. I've got something else called Amitryptyline but I don't remember what they're for other than making me sleep. I could look it up and will but I guess what I'm asking is, Do I have a chance in hell of kicking this? I feel like it's easier to just take them but I'm feeling more and more sluggish and scared and I hate it.

Thanks...

MsMinn · 11-09-2006, 02:31 AM

Hi there,
Are you able to taper off the codeine? Personally I say to stay the heck away from tramadol because I am on day 7 today and not out of the woods yet. I am using xanax, but as sparingly as possible. really scared to get hooked on something new.
Welcome ... this is a great place for support.
Minn

kim4074 · 11-09-2006, 04:20 AM

I take ampytiptlyne (sp) for headaches and I take it b4 bed and helps me sleep too. So when you decide to stop it will help alot as far as sleep goes. W/d's arent fun nor are they meant to be but if you make it at least through day 3-4 you will start feeling better and better it will be a high like on you can never experience on pills. Get some immodium gatoraid and start vitamins at least a week b4 you quit as they will help too. Hot showers and rest and some food. Try a taper if you can to lessen the w/d's and we will all be here for you we have gone through it and proof its possible. So keep us updated even if your not ready yet. Best wishes Kim

bkkscot · 11-09-2006, 04:45 AM

Thanks alot for the kind words. I feel like such a loser sometimes - I don't really want to go out or I'll sleep alot. I think that may be the depression that comes from not having enough of the codeine in my system at any one time.

I started out on Vicodin when I twisted my ankle while running and the doctor gave me a couple hundred of them. That's a bad thing for someone like me. I learned how to manipulate the doctors into giving me that extra script but back then they weren't as leary as they are now from what I've been told. Then when I came to Thailand there were Tylenol 3 and 4's available so I was in heaven. Then the Thai government banned them and on one of my trips to Cambodia I found out about the codeine. That was around 9 years ago and I've been taking 120-240 Mgs a day since.

My family is coming today from the US so I don't plan on stopping until they leave. I really do not want them to see my going through withdrawls while they're on vacation. Might spoil it for them and I can wait a week. As my friend says, "I'm a controlled user. Never taking more than 2 in the morning and 2 at night and some days skipping all together." I don't want to try and fool myself into thinking I can do this forever but I can wait a week and then give it a shot. I've done it before so I think I can do it again. It's staying off of them that gives me the problem! Thanks again - I'll let you know how I do...

Blasterboy · 11-09-2006, 02:42 PM

you have to really want to get clean for you to have any chance of a lasting sobriety; I mean really really want it, more than you want to get high, until then you will continue to battle periods of using and period of been clean; hopefully for you the periods of been clean will start to become longer.

St Johns Wort is a nature way to treat depression is you can get it from a health food shop and the Amitriptyline at 10mg to 25mg is a very effective sleep aid. It will leave you with a nasty dry mouth. At 150mg it becomes an Antidepressant but you really shouldn't self medicate to that level without seeing a doctor as you might not be a good candidate to use that drug up to that level.

I wish you the best in finding the strength to stay clean and sober; I'm sure that you will find NA and AA out there in Thailand if you wanted to try that route. That's what worked for me and I recently got my 5 year sober chip; life really can better in such a special way that we can't appreciate when we're in the haze of using, so I ask that you trust people like me and give yourself a chance; your worth it!