Hey guys. Hope everyone had a nice Christmas. Every once in a while I feel the urge to post and just ramble on. So, here goes…
Well this Christmas was really great. My wife, kids and I spent Christmas in Northern Va, with her father. My wife(maura), is originally from Va. Her father and the rest of her family are really nice people and we all get a long really well. They are much different than my family, but that is ok. For example, if we are spending time with my family…football or some sport is on the tv, everyone is playing euchre(card game), cracking jokes, and it can get pretty loud. When visiting her family, we might sit in the living room, eat smoked salmon, listen to the Messiah, and wear suits with a 78 degree temp in the living room. LOL. It wasn’t quite like that this time, but you can get the picture on the diff in families. Let me just say, I reflected on where I was at this point the last time I visited in Va. It was during my pill use and it was really out of hand. This time it was much different. I wasn’t using any pills, didn’t think about them and was able to enjoy the holidays with my family. I really used to isolate myself when I was using. I wasn’t the funny, outgoing person that I used to be. The memory of that is so upsetting to think about. During use, you just don’t see that this is happening-but it is.
Yesterday, we took the kids to the “soft playground”. It’s a pretty cool room they have at the rec center there. Everything is padded in the room, the floor and they have a bunch of soft things for the kids to climb and jump on. We were the only people in the room, so I was able to act like even more of a wacko dad. I even jumped in the pool full of balls with my kids. It was a great time. The last time we went there, I was obsessed with the pills. We met some friends there. While they were inside, I was outside on the phone trying to find an urgent care, so I could do the old song and dance and get some pills. It has been 6 and a half months since I have quit and look at the difference. It is truly amazing for me to think about this. During the use, I didn’t think I could possibly function without the pills. They were always there. At one point, they do make you feel good, fun, and seem to make things easier to deal with. You guys know what I mean by that. Before I knew it, I needed them just to feel “normal”. I was far from it, but to blind to see it.
We had a pretty scary moment on Christmas evening. My 4.5 year old maeve, chewed a pill thinking it was candy. I was putting her to bed, looking for one of her dolls and saw her put it in her mouth. She looked at me and hated the taste. I rushed her into the bathroom to try and rinse it out. It was too late. I called for my wife asking her if she left a pill on the dresser. She made a terrible mistake and feels so bad about it. She forgot and left one of her wellbutrin pills on the dresser. I’m not putting blame on her, we all make mistakes but this will never happen again. Well, we called poison control and they told us this med can cause seizures, so off the ER. They were great in there. The doc was very nice and explained things well. Since we had her in there within 2 hours, she just had to drink this horrible looking, tasting, charcoal milkshake. We tried, and tried to get her to drink it, but she wasn’t going to budge. They ended up having to give her some meds and put the hose down her nose in order to get the fluid in her stomach. As a parent, it was the toughest thing I had to go through. Everyone is fine. The meds they gave here caused some brief amnesia and she doesn’t remember much from the hospital. The next morning, she was up and jumping around. I was still pretty much a basket case though. Just felt so bad that she had to go through that. After they gave her the drink, we had to wait 1 hour. She then sat up and threw it all up-over her and maura. It was everywhere. Maura, ended up leaving the hospital in scrubs.
Well, now I feel a little better. Its amazing how much better I feel when I post sometimes. Hope to hear from some of you guys that I haven’t heard from in a while.
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