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[bloomerz]

hello all...my name is bloomerz and my best friend in all the world was just diagnosed with nsclc and is at stage iv. there were no real symptoms. she just had her first round of chemo, which i understand is to prolongue her life, not save it. she is terminal i have been told.
my late husband died only six weeks after diagnosis with sclc. this was six years ago. the thought and feeling of losing someone else all over again is unbearable. she says she is not afraid of dying; just of hurting all of us.
any response to this posting will be appreciated
bloomerz

[cher1052]

bloomerz, I lost my mom to the same thing last year-we were told the same thing-but the dr didn't want her to have chemo-just radiation. I know how you're feeling-we're here for you-give your friend all the support and love she'll need at this time...we're here for you. Cherie

[Janmarie2]

Bloomerz,

Don't give up all hope as there are some amazing drugs out and some in the pipeline for NSCLC. My mom was NSCLC Stage IV and she lived 2.5 yrs. After her first chemo she was given Iressa then the next month changed to Tarceva ( which was just released) Tarceva did away with her lung tumor and worked on her liver mets for several months but eventually they started to grow: However when mom died she still had no cancer in her lungs. There is a 2nd drug called HKI272 in clinical trials that is suppose to take over when Tarceva quits working. We could not get my mom into any of the clinical trials because by then she had had more then one chemo. I have met people that used Irressa and or Tarceva and are a couple years on it and have no evidence of disease ( NED).

Tarceva works best on three subgroups, # 1 non smokers, #2 females, # 3 Asian people but that is not to say it will not work on others as I have met men that fit none of the sub groups and it has worked..is it a cure? I would say No but in some it can control the cancer alot longer then any chemo or radiation can.

There is also Avastin which cuts off the blood supply to the cancer and is showing alot of promise for somepeople.

Do not listen to doctors time frames as they really do not know, my mom was told 6 months with no treatment a year with treatment and she made it to 2.5 yrs .

There are also things like Cyberknife that can zap out tumors as we looked into that for my mom but by that time she had too many liver mets.

Researching treatments can make a big difference as doctors do not know everything out there. My mom's oncologist did not know about cyberknife and argued with me for 20 -30 minutes despite my having told him I had already spoken to the doctors that do it at Stanford, finally he admitted he know little about radiation as his speciality is Chemo.

I was the one that brought up the Iressa and Tarceva and he did not seem to feel they would do much good, turned out he was wrong.

Your friends life is between she and God and no one else and only God knows when she has lived long enough. This board is a good place to come for advice or even just to vent as we have all been there or are currently there.

I like to point out that being told you have terminal cancer does not really move you to another playing field when it comes to life as not one of us knows when we will die anyone of us could drop dead in the next minute from dozens of different reasons all your friend has gotten is a calling card. In away that calling card is not so bad as it makes you look at life and gives you time to wrap things up so that when the end does come you can continue on to the souls next journey in peace. I have worked in a hospital for 25 yrs and believe me alot of people die from unexpected deaths and then the family and friends are left with things like " when was the last time I told her I loved her?"" what was the last thing I said to her? " I can tell you from my own experience with my mom I know the answer to all of those questions as we had time to prepare.

I will send prayes for your friend. She is lucky to have a good friend like you. JanMarie

[bloomerz]

thanks!
i like what you said about calling card...when my husband died, i was SO GLAD to have had those six weeks to get ready and say my "see you laters". i have thanked God for those moments. i could understand his death as he smoked 3 packs a day for many years. if he would have died in a car accident, for example, i would have tortured myself with "what ifs", and "whys". now i will KNOWINGLY spend as much time with her as possible.
barb's treatment is out of my hands, for sure. she did say that now she knew how she was going to die, instead of just wondering! so she hasn't lost her since of humour.
thanks again
bloom

[HELLASRULES]

Hi Bloomerz
I"m sorry to hear about your friend. I have to tell you in the beginning I was a mess, a basketcase, a crying depressed lunatic (at times). I have Stage IV NSCLC too. I found out Nov.23, 2006. They didn't tell my how long I have and I don't want to know. Period. I don't need to know. I do what the doctors recommend. That's all they know.
In Oct. I quit drinking. Dec.7th I quit smoking. Dec 20th I had a brain tumor (met) removed. January 19th was cyberknife to the brain. Now i'm due for my last firstline chemo treatment on the 21st. The last ct I had everything in the lungs was shrinking or had disappeared. That was after 2 chemo treatments. The next one is going to be a nail-biter though! LOL!
I eat fine (gained 20 lbs - ARGH!), but healthy also. I walk anywhere from 2-4 miles a day, when I feel good. (and I don't even get out of breath!) Several days after chemo I get knocked on my butt! But, I sure don't feel like I'm dying!!!
And I feel better than I have in years and years! So who's to say I can't beat this? I don't care what doctors or statistics say. The body is an amazing thing in how it works. God made it that way. So do I believe doctors or God? Easy question.
All I'm saying is that you don't have to lie down & die when they tell you you have cancer....even "terminal" cancer. Get up and live. Choose life, however long it is...because none of us knows when it's our time.
Be with her, support her, go shopping, whatever with her. Go to appointments or chemo and keep things as normal as you can. With family and friends with her, she can get through this.
Faith