I've given up...

[gdschillins]

After fighting with my brother and trying hard to keep my mom away from him I've given up. My fight is over! I've come up with the solution that my mom is never going to better no matter where she is. She wanted so badly to be with my brother no matter how much she said she didn't. She'd give him money, she let him steal under his nose, he was perfect yet at first he didn't want anything to do with her. Now since money is involved he was willing to take me to court and lie to get her and her money. So this weekend my brother came and took all her furniture and on monday he's going to get her from the Respite care she's at.
I'll see mom on wed for a few hours but that's all. He lets her drive (even though her lisence has been revoked), he dropps her off at the theaters, in the malls. He leaves her at home for several hours (more than 5) at a time. I just pray that nothing happens to her while in his care.
They've taken her off her aricept for good and she refuses to go onto anything else. You can tell. Yesterday at the respite care place, she was telling me how she can walk to my house every weekend and come and see my girls. I had to remind her that my brother lives 25 min from me driving on the interstate! So walking is deffinetly out of the question. She was a little upset but then realized that she wasn't home.
All is well--or is it?

[DGabriel10]

Bless you gd for all that you are having to go through. I truly believe that sometimes it is better to know when to quit fighting. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring so I wish for you and your Mom the best possible. Hopefully your brother will realize the fool hearty attitude he has taken and in some way this situation can be righted. In the mean time get yourself some rest and know that you have done all that you possibly can. That is all that can be ask of you. I do understand and empathize because I am going through much the same.

Deb

[Martha H]

It is so difficult and nerve wracking to take care of a Dementia patient in your home, that I am almost sure your brother will turn up on your doorstep begging you to take Mom back.

Meanwhile, if you are really worried about his allowing dangerous behavior like car driving and being home alone, you can fnd out what authorities are in charge of elder abuse. You can tell them what you see happening. Then let the wheels of justice roll. It may take a long time. I would start by giving your brother a chance to deal with the day to day aspects of it - even leaving her alone for 5 hours means he will be with her for the other 19. He may immediately notice how sick she really is, and begin to supervise her better. Maybe he really doesn't get it.

He may find out that all the money in the world is not enough pay for 24 hour a day Dementia caregiving. I did it - I would have rather done almost anything else.

Love,

Martha

[xAng3lic]

[removed] I think you should give your brother time to try to take care of your mother, because I'm sure he will realize its more work than he thinks - and if he really is just in it for the money, he'll realize that she has no job, and she will eventually (if not now) need doctors and have to pay for those bills. I hope he realizes all the effort and money that she has already invested in him, and decide to return it back to her. If not, the elderly abuse thing already mentioned might be a good way to go. I hope everything turns out well.

Best of luck!
- Juliet

[gdschillins]

my brother has actually now just let my mom try nd be who she once was. I got a call the other day from someone questioning me why they saw my mom driving down theroad. I told them to just pray that she doesn't kill someone else in the process. He keeps her at home by herself from 2-3am. I've contacted people and her doctor also knows. He told me that right now she's 'ok' but his concern would be in a few months when she's not.
My brother doesn't care. He just lets her do whatever. And I'm a lot more peaceful!