Tell My Daughter She's Not The Only One!!!!!

tina35 · 08-13-2007, 10:40 AM

my daughter is 10 years old and very down in the mouth with the whole adhd thing. she's on 108mg 0f concerta xl daily she lost her hair (that has now grown back) with out her med's she cant write do her laces or zipper even as much as sit and eat a meal!she cant have a sentence as her mind is racing to the next thing. when she does have her tabs she has days where she does nothing but cry and wants cuddles all day. she gets angry with herself and all tho's around her. she feels very isolated and does not think she is normal no matter how many times we tell her she is the best thing thats ever happend to us. she just needs to know she snot alone.....

gdschillins · 08-15-2007, 11:18 PM

This may help and may not. I'm 32 but when I was young thats exactly how I was. Back then they though females just acted out so I wasn't tested for ADD/ADHD until I was in college. I took meds for a while but I'm not good with them. I can't focus on much of anything for long even now. She's not the only one. Infact, my 5 year old shows the same signs as I did as a child. Your daughter is lucky because now they actually believe it's not just this or that, there is a way to treat it!'
God speed.

rheanna · 08-17-2007, 03:18 AM

tina35,

At her age, fitting in with the other kids is very important, and she's all too aware that she's too chaotic to fit in. Feeling like there's no place for you leads to anger and depression -- it certainly did when I was a kid.

I would like to suggest something that I wish had happened when I was a kid. Perhaps you could spend some time thinking of what there is about her that is positive, and show her how these positive traits make her an addition to the world, and concentrate on helping her to find a way to channel her uniqueness into something that she can feel proud of. This, of course, will be a long-term thing, as it takes a long time to learn to like yourself when all you have noticed up to now is that you can't make friends and you can't concentrate on schoolwork and you have no idea what your talents are.

Is there anything that she has a talent for? You might need to provide some structure to make sure that she is able to stick with lessons and regularly attend groups or lessons. If she can stick with something long enough to turn that talent (what she finds easy to do) into a skill (what she has learned the skills to do well), then that will go a long way to showing her in real life that she is actually good at something. Having parents tell her that she is loved is important of course, but she also needs to see that she has someplace in real life that she can feel she is contributing to.

When I was a kid (with inattentive ADD) I showed a talent for art. I never got to study in a class or with an art instructor. I never got to pursue turning my inborn talent into a skill. I was too filled with anger and depression because I looked around me and saw all those other kids who were successes and seemed to find doing things easy, while I couldn't seem to do anything right. I really wish that someone had put me into art lessons and guided me to feel that I could be a success at something, so that I could see in real life that I was a functioning person in at least one area of my life.

No, your daughter isn't the only one!

Ask her what she would like to take lessons in. It can be a sport, or learning more about math, or taking knitting/crocheting/embroidery lessons, or spending time working with the animals at the animal shelter. What is her interest or passion? Once she has started in some direction, it will be up to you to see that she continues, because it's so easy for a person with ADD to find excuses not to do things (ahem!, as she - meaning me! - sits here typing on her keyboard instead of working on the projects that she knows she loves and has talent in

-ahem!). But if your daughter can feel successful at something, then that will go a long way towards easing her anger and depression.

You're a good mom for asking -- I hope that you get some suggestions here that will help.

--Rheanna

index.html · 08-17-2007, 05:00 AM

GREAT post, Rheanna!

kerr0098 · 09-04-2007, 01:27 AM

I don't know if this will help but my 7 year old is on concerta 72 mg once a day. It is still not enough and the doctor said he wanted to increase it and i had to tell him no. It will be tough at school and it's still tough at home. My son only weighs 45 pounds. I don't know if i made the right decision but i hope i did.