restless, tired everything feels too much

captnanny · 09-26-2007, 07:54 AM

Hi, Today is day 7 on my first taper of fentanyl. OH MY GOD I"M MISERABLE
I do a little better the first day and a hafl that I wear my patch, then I am depressed, have no energy but completely restless which is the worst. The depression comes in waves and when I think about how many more tapers I have to go through. I don't ever want to detox again, I dont ever want to have to. I pray that I can keep myself from taking an opiate. This is absolutely the worse and its only the very beginning. I thought the worst came at the end, could I just be different? I don't think it can get worse, I could not get off the couch yesterday.

ReadyToBeDone · 09-26-2007, 03:05 PM

Capt, hang in there, hon. You can do this. I was taking lots and lots of morphine, and I quit ct. It sucked big time, but I made it. I'm on day 33 and some days are harder than others, but none of them are as horrible as the first 2 weeks. If you're tapering, just give yourself time. Hopefully reach can come on and give you some tips. She tapered and has done extremely well. Is your taper being monitored by a dr? If not, please give it some thought. Keep your fluids up. B-12 will help some with the energy, but not much I'm afraid. Find some leg cramp pills with quinine. They don't totally eliminate the pain, but they do help take the edge off, or they did with me.

Just remember that this will pass, and once you get through this you will never have to go through it again as long as you choose not too. Don't give up.

RTBD

ReadyToBeDone · 09-26-2007, 09:45 PM

Ok capt, i read your post from a few days ago, and now feel like I know a little more. I know you want this over and done with, but hon, if you feel you're tapering too fast, talk to the dr. Any taper is better than none. Take it one day at a time. And this is important...don't isolate yourself emotionally. I know that is hard to do, hell, I've been clean over a month and it still takes an enormous amount of effort for me not to do it, but seriously, emotional isolation is one thing that can send us into relapse very quickly. Post here, call a friend, whatever you need to do, but interact. I'm praying for you. YOu can do this!!

RTBD

captnanny · 09-27-2007, 05:57 AM

Thanks for all your support
Today I feel maybe a little better. I am under my dr.'s care. He said if things don't improve by tomorrow we might go one more week on this dose. I'm supposed to go down again on Mon. Right now I have to take it a minute at a time. And I know it helps to get out or just talk to people. That's the hardest thing because when I don't I get mad at myself which makes me feel worse and then get paranoid and think it's because no one wants to be with an addict. Someone suggested to not fight the feelings, but to accept them as part of the process. That way I won't be thinking about the bad all day long 24 hours straight. It helped a little last night. I go to work today as a nanny, and just pray to God I allow myself to enjoy the kids and not feel the withdrawals and take it out on them. This is absolutely the worst detox I have gone through.
Darn I want to be done with it.

ReadyToBeDone · 09-27-2007, 05:33 PM

It will get better. It may take awhile, but you'll get through this. Have you considered going to an NA meeting? I fought going for a long long time, but when I finally did, it was like a weight had been lifted. I understand that NA isn't for everyone, but having a group of people who know exactly what I'm going through and are fighting the same battles has really given me the strength and courage to continue this fight. You are so brave to do all of this, and life will get better. The depression and low energy are the hardest parts. Just hang in there and remember all of the work you've done and are doing to get here.

RTBD