Maggerooni, where is you? LOL

[oh-notagain]

Hi Maggs,

Hope you're doing well.... what dose are you on now? When i dont hear from you i always imagine that things are going well because most of the time we come on here to ask questions b/c something is wrong.... so i hope yours is good news....
I went to the neurologist and she diagnosed me with cluster migraines. well, they havent stopped, not yet. she wanted to put me on some type of steroid, but since i am competing in two weeks, and ive worked hard to be able to do it, i cant take the steroids b/c i will be tested and i cant come up positive for them. i dont even know if they would show up like the performance enhancing kind, and niether did the doc, but i cant take the chance. so she gave me a shot of toradol, and some zomig (nothing new for me) and some kind of muscle relaxor. she told me the muscle relaxor will make me tired. like i really need to be more tired during the day !!!

anyway, im just keepin on with my 2 and 2mg. waiting for a break in this unfortunately painful month for me. after the competition i will consider the steroids. or she said i could come in to the hospital for three hours a day to get iv meds.
i know you have a lot of experience with the migraines, so tell me, have you done any of this stuff? does it work?

im gonna go hit it now, im so tired, and my head hurts. i will write more when im a little more lively, k?

hope to hear from you soon !!!

hugs,

michelle

[maggie0704]

Hey Girl,
I've been thinking about u and wanting to write, but to be honest, i've been feeling pretty icky past few days and haven't had energy. Not good news....i know!
I'm down to 1.5mg right now, although it's so hard to know exactly when it's down to taking crumbles. But i do know it's less than 2mg. I lowered to
1.5mg two days ago...and i'm feeling it already. I feel shaky, nervous, anxious, weak and cannot sleep. I LITERALLY woke up every 5 min. last night. To those who don't know about withdrawl, they would think i'm exaggerating, but as u know, i'm not. And it was hell on earth.
Sooooo frustrating when u r sooo tired yet can't sleep more than few minutes at a time. I even took OTC sleeping med. and it only worked for about 2hrs.
My Mom has some OLD zanax (expired 3 yrs. ago) but i'm so desperate for some relief of the anxiety i'll ask her for a few. I don't worry about getting addicted to them, bcuz i make sure i don't take them daily (i switch them up with OTC meds.) and i don't personally get anything out of them except sleepiness....and like u said, i don't need any help in that department.
I'm just trying to get thru this..and not give up like i did last time. Remember i took that week off work, only to go back to 3mg bcuz i couldn't stand it.
THANKFULLY i work for my Dad, who is probably still frustrated with me, but is trying to be understanding with me not being my best and missing a bit of work here and there.
So please say a prayer for me, I so want to get thru this so i can try for baby. And it is so hard to stay focused and not want to take more just to feel better!
I'm so sorry about your headaches sweetie, boy do i know what your feeling! I've had a constant headache also for about 2wks. I've been taking massive amounts of ibuprophen, but i'm worried bcuz i've had a bleeding ulcer before and my stomach has been bothering me. But i feel like i don't really care at the moment when i'm hurting so bad and just want relief.
I've taken torodol (gave myself the shots) and zomig (i think that's what u said),,,,,they do work. The torodol is basically really strong advil. As far as the steroids go, yes they work like a miracle. So once your done with training, get that done bcuz it has helped me tremendously in past. My Dad takes them once in a while too...it helps break up a bad cycle of on-going headaches. So atleast u can look forward to some relief!
Write back soon....i want to talk more but have to work.
Thanks for checking up on me. I appreciate it so much!
And i have more to share, but i'll writ emore later.
love, mags

[rozetat2]

Hello my suboxone sisters! MAGGIE, how long were you on 2mgs? Im having trouble staying at 3! This is awful. But this weekend Im going to stay at three and then drop to 2mgs maybe wednesday, then I will drop to 1.5mg in a week. I have to start dropping because Im running out of sub. My issue is that i want to be clean before my bday in Dec. and the New Year. Have you tried seroquel or clonidine? Thats what i have. I have 25mgs of the seroquel and i have to bite them in half because they are too strong for me. They keep me sleeping all night but groggy in the morning. They are supposed to be non-addicting. Im sorry youre feeling bad, I know what a pain this is. I have lots of books and movies for when i jump off sub--and seroquel and clondine. Good luck-- MICHELLE, good luck to you to. I forgot if you told me but how long do you plan on staying on sub? Just curious. Have a great weekend everyone!

[maggie0704]

Hey Rosetat:....And ALSO MICHELLE since i need some advice/support:

I've been on the 2mg for about 1 1/2 wks. I dropped to about 1.5mg 2 days ago. I feel so ashamed and horrible right now bcuz i took 2.5mg today..
I was having such a hard time today with anxiety, which i can normally handle,,,but then around 5pm i started feeling REALLY depressed. I have depression even when not withdrawaling, so it is really bad for me. I felt so down, like i had a dark cloud following me and i couldn't snap out of it.
So i gave in and took that extra 1mg. Now i feel like crap and i hate this!!!!
Another thing is that I lowered my anti-dep. to 10mg (from 20mg) about 2months ago bcuz my doc. wanted me to be on as low a dose as i can handle bcuz i want to get prego. Well i've been doing fine on that 10mg, until the past few days. I usually start feeling down at nighttime, but tonight it was unbearable. So i also decided that i'd go back up to 20mg until i'm done with this tapering so that i don't put too much stress on myself right now.
I know that the 20mg will get in my system and start to make me feel better, but i just couldn't handle it tonight and i took that extra 1mg.
So i'm feeling guilty and like i have set myself back. I'm planning on going right back to 1.5mg tomorrow and i hope i can stick to it.
It's so hard bcuz my husband works so much and when he is home, it is frustrating for him and me when i'm sick/depressed. And i want to be at my best so we can spend some quality time together.....but it's hard when i'm going thru this. Plus, it doesn't help that he's always in a good mood, never sick, and has no clue what depression is like. So i know he must get frustrated with me......AND to top it off....i have NO LIBIDO and have had NONE for months!!!!!
Blah, blah, blah....i'm crying the blues tonight, but i hope tomorrow is better.
ROSEY, keep at it....i swear this is true: if I CAN DO IT, ANYONE CAN! I just need to prove to myself that I CAN! I've failed consistently at everything ive tried in life, and i'm full of self-doubt. But i'm trying to work on that and fill myself with positive self-talk instead of the constant berating of myself.
So i'm planning on dropping to 1mg very soon....i know that rushing it isn't probably the best idea, but at this point with me feeling yucky anyways, it seems more worth it to hurt worse for a shorter period of time than to keep stretching it out.
I didn't sleep last night, woke up every few minutes tossing and turning.....and that greatly affects my next day. I woke up today feeling fatigued and weak and worse headache bcuz of crappy sleep.
Please keep me in your prayers and i will keep praying for you guys also. I can't WAIT for the day when i can come on here and FINALLY be proud of myself for something!!
Let's do this together and support eachother! Subaxone Sisters!!!!

[spark-o-cet]

mag your just gonna have to buckle down and go with it.there is gonna be some long term side effects from opiate abuse and from the suboxone.if you dont get something going for you soon im afraid you may be headed for a relapse.this is the time to do something.figure it out and do it.good luck-spark