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Old 11-10-2007, 02:20 AM   #1
waxdart
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(male)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: smithville, mi, usa
Posts: 2
Think my dad is killing himself.

'm going to attempt to describe this situation as well as I can, it's complicated and I'm bound to leave out many important details but here it goes.

My dad has been an alcoholic for 12+ years. He's 54 years old and he's overweight.

About 8 years ago he had open heart surgery (6 way bypass). Sometime after that he became depressed and started having panic/anxiety attacks, which I understand is fairly common after a major surgery. He wound up being put on and taken off off several medications for depression, bi-polar disorder and seizures. He was given Xanax (among other drugs) by a Psychiatrist about two years ago which he became addicted to. He stopped taking the Xanax about a year ago and had (or claimed) withdrawals for a year afterward which caused even more severe anxiety.

While on all of these drugs he was drinking heavily.

About four years ago he retired and has since done practically nothing but sit in his basement, drink beer, smoke cigarettes and watch t.v.

Over the past year or two he has gotten worse. He gets much more drunk or appears much more drunk from far less alcohol than it would have taken four year ago.

He started falling randomly and convulsing even when he's not drunk. He was tested and had whatever scans would be standard when something like that happens and they found nothing wrong.

He has lost control of his bowels several times that I know of and many others I don't, once walking to the store to buy more beer a block away from out house. The neighbor complained.

He wakes in the middle of the night and sits in his kitchen and eats huge quantities of food and he isn't aware he had done it the next day.

Sometimes he will not remember things he did hours ago and once a week he will talk about something that never happened.

In the past three weeks my mom realized he has stolen all of her jewelry (Including her first wedding ring from him and his wedding ring) and pawned it to buy beer. He stole my kid sisters change jar, he pawned many of his tools, etc. This was completely beyond what I ever thought he was capable of doing.

In the morning when he hasn't had anything to drink he is usually fairly lucid and if you try to discuss how he feels, or what he has done he skirts around it or stays silent and it's incredibly frustrating and sad.

He has been to rehab three times in the past year and a half and each time came home and went to buy beer the same day.

He isn't verbally or physically abusive.

I could give hundreds of other accounts of of things he has done but I think I have probably gotten that point across.

The reason I'm writing this is because my mom has finally decided to divorce him. He plans on living in their cottage about 250 miles away. If he moves there alone I can't help but think he will be dead with a year or two. He will drink himself to death or crash his truck and maybe kill someone else in the process. (My mother took his keys and refused to give them back several months ago after she got home from work and found him drunk backing his truck into my car repeatedly trying to go buy beer.)

Today he said he wasn't feeling well and tonight he didn't drink or smoke all night (HIGHLY unusual). Then he said he was "seeing ribbons", hallucinating, and he was laughing and smiling but actually acting rather normal otherwise. It was bizarre. My mom took his blood pressure and it was high earlier and them back to normal later, she wanted to take him to the emergency room but he refused.

Here is a last of the drugs he is currently prescribed:

This first one I think was recent:

Benzopine MES 1Mg (Take one, twice daily as needed, substitute for Cogentin)

Gabapentin 300MG capsule TEV (Take two, three times daily)

Geodon 80MG capslue ROE (Take one, three times daily)

Seroquel 100MG tablet ZEN (Take one in morning and one at night)

Simvastian 20MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet at bed time)

Sertraline HCL 100MG tablet TEV (Take one tablet, twice a day, substituted for Zoloft)

Carvedilol 25MG tablet MYL (Take one tablet, twice daily)

Lisinopril 20MG tablet SAN (Take one a day)

Vytorin 10/20 tablet M/S (Take one a day)

Plavax 75 MG tablet BRI (Take one a day)

Cozaar 50MG tablet MSD (Take one a day)

Zetia 10 MG tablet M/S (Take one a bed time)

He also takes aspirin everyday.

And drinks.

His doctors know he's an alcoholic.

I'm begging for professional help here, suggestions, advice, anything.

Thank you,

Joe
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Old 11-10-2007, 02:38 AM   #2
AnnD
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 2,239
Re: Think my dad is killing himself.

I am so sorry for you Joe because there is nothing you or anyone can do for your dad. But I would strongly suggest you go to ALA Teen meetings or Al-Anon meetings(depending on your age)...in these groups you will learn how to help your dad...there is generally one in each town. Perhaps you have gone or are familiar with them? It is a very sad thing to watch your dad and I know you have shed many tears over this. Let your mom deal with him the best she knows how and divorce sometimes is the only way to save the family from total destruction. Take care Joe.
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Old 11-10-2007, 02:49 AM   #3
waxdart
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: smithville, mi, usa
Posts: 2
Re: Think my dad is killing himself.

I'm 22, I moved home and have stayed longer than expected because my mom can't deal with this on her own.

I can handle the situation but I really need advice (if there is any) on what we can do regarding his medication, doctors, forced rehab etc.

He's a danger to other because he drinks and drives so I wonder if that's enough to force him into treament.
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Old 11-10-2007, 06:33 AM   #4
glamour girl
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Victoria,Australia
Posts: 826
Re: Think my dad is killing himself.

Hi Joe,
I feel so sad for what you and your family are going through. I'm not even going to say i know how you feel cause i don't. I'm no doctor or anything. But I'm pretty sure in saying, the meds your dad is on, sound extremely high .
To be taking that much medication on a daily basis sounds crazy in its self. Could it be that's whats causing your dad to Hallucinate??? His mood swings surely cant be just depression. I'd strongly get him back to yr doctor or even another one.. Are all his doctors aware he is on so much medication at the one time.. That seems way TOO MUCH.. especially with alcohol mixing too. You say the docs know he drinks. I cant believe they ok meds ???
Please please keep us posted on how this turns out.
I'm sincerely hope you get some answers and good advice in counselling. I agree you all need to go. Sounds like a intervention is in order here.
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Old 11-10-2007, 01:29 PM   #5
Hope49
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 6
Re: Think my dad is killing himself.

sounds like your father is not agreeable to find help for his drinking problem. mixing his meds with alcohol is dangerous. in my state it is lawful to have someone committed to a mental facility or a recovery center if they are witnessed making a statement that they intend on harming themselves. you or someone in your family would have to commit to being a witness to this and it would probably anger your father but sounds like you are right, if he continues this behavior he is going severly harm or kill himself or others. good idea to check with a reliable mental facility or physician in your state and she what the laws are concerning this situation.
my heart goes out to you, i have seen situations as yours many times and it is always a very difficult situation.

Last edited by ms_mod; 11-10-2007 at 01:57 PM. Reason: Please read the posting rules as to why part of your post was removed. Ms_Mod
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