Sexual dysfunction advice?

[tanisleek]

I am 25 and have been married for a year & 1/2. My husband is the only partner I have ever been with. We have a good relationship, but I irritate the crap out of myself (and my hubby I'm sure) b/c I am never (and have really never been) in the mood for sex. It takes forever to get me turned on and I don't climax about 1/2 of the time, which honestly, I don't mind. Back massages used to be just about the only way to arouse me, but for the last few months it hasn't worked. I have never been a person who likes kissing, so that doesn't do anything for me either. I normally just suck it up and have sex (though it's maybe once a week or once every two weeks- poor DH). I am also extremely dry, so I use quite a bit of lube.

I am so sick of this and it seems to get worse. Mentally, I love the idea of sex, and fantasize often, but when the time comes, and my husband starts acting like he may hit on me, I automatically get "turned off". I am 100% sure that it is me, but physically, not psychologically.

I am on Lavora birth control pills. I have had a lot of issues while on other bc pills and had to change brands several times before my body actually regulated itself while on Lavora so I do not want to change it again. It took me/doctors 3 years to find a pill that worked. Never-the-less, I do believe that my sex drive was quite a bit larger when I was not on any bc.

After reading several threads, I think I will self-diagnose (I hate to self-diagnose, ha) myself with Sexual dysfunction, since that is the only thing that make sense to me. I just had my last annual exam a month ago, and the doctor said that I looked good, but I did not ask her about this problem b/c I am embarrassed. Until I read these threads, I thought it was just me having these problems.

If anybody could give me any advice and/or has any ideas on (over-the counter or natural) medications, that would be great. I would love to be happy to have sex again.

Thank you so much!

Happy Holidays!

[crazygirl28]

Girl, I know the feeling...you are not alone and it is not your fault!! Have you ever suffered or could possibly currently be suffering from any type of depression or mood swings? I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder (type II) about two years ago, and since being on my meds it has gotten a little better for me. I, unlike you, had other partners before my husband, and trust me, sex is just sex...the grass is the same color on each side. I love my husband and find him very attractive, but I have no sex drive either. I have to make myself have sex just so he doesn't think I'm cheating on him. And once a week is great...we had a baby 8 mos. ago and we just now started having sex again. I wish I knew the answer for you and for myself, because it is so frustrating. Honestly, I think it is just some sort of mental block that we have to figure out how to get over. I've tried otc herbal supplements, and they didn't work. I've set an ob/gyn appt. up for two weeks from now and I plan on asking her why I don't have a sex drive and if there is anything I can do...I'll let you know what she says. I have another problem that is also a culprit in the lack of drive...I end up with swollen labial walls and it burns to urinate after sex. This lasts up to two or three days and is so painful that I almost feel that it's not worth the pain. Hang in there, and if you figure anything out, let me know!!

[tanisleek]

Thanks!

No, I don't have depression or any other medical conditions. Just that "blah" feeling. Keep in touch and let us know what your doc has to say.

[Kszan]

I hate to say it but if you're on the pill, you're not going to get any better any time soon. The birth control pill absolutely destroy's a woman's sex drive, and the longer you stay on it, the longer it will take to regain it once you quit.

I had the same problem when I was on the pill, and I'd tried pretty much every brand that was out there. Finally I gave up and quit taking the pill all together. It took a year, but I finally got my libido back to normal. It was the best decision I've ever made.

I'm serious, the pill is the reason why you are having this problem. If you're really unhappy and hate feeling this way, it might be time to consider going off the pill and finding some other method of contraception instead.

[tanisleek]

Dang. My DH & I figured that could be one of the causes. We'll see what to do. Thanks for all your (much needed) advice & have a great holiday!