need support

[logalind]

Hey guys I don't feel I am on here enough to bond with anyone, this is my fault I see how everyone relates and I feel left out (such an addict) lol. but I really wanna try. I need help I am trying to do the AA/NA thing and I am such a mess. The anxiety is making me crazy, I am trying everything I can. I feel like a prisioner in my own home, my husband told me if I ever relapsed I would have to find another place to live. So needless to say I am scared. I don't feel I can put into words how hopeless I feel and how helpless I feel. I took out some old information I had from rehab trying to calm myself down, nothing is working. I am on my way to work and needless to say I am scared. I don't want to be home but I don't want to be on the streets, for fear I will go to the hospital can anyone please help me. I want off so bad but, I don't know if this is bottom yet I don't know how to live sober but I am willing to try.

i am tried of being neurotic. Any response would be great. Love ya all.

[flintrock]

You've come to the right place my dear......I don't know where I would be without this board to come to when I need advice and encouragement. What is your addiction? How long? How many relapses? Give us some more information so we can give you our knowledge and opinions. There's a lot of folks on this board who have the experience to pass on to you. If you want this bad enough, you CAN do it.........there's no "I can't"..........maybe you're scared, of course you are!! It's tough..........but it's done every single day and you CAN do it!!!!!

[tmtabfree]

Welcome to the forum, we need you here as bad as you want to be here!! I am on day 9 of no drugs, weed and cocaine are my issues. I have a 25 yr. habit, and came close to losing my family because of my addiction. I made it a year then the stress of life got to me, plus i quit making my AA meetings and relapsed last week. I have to stay grounded by making my meetings , and this forum and a few others help me pass that daily call to use again. All I can say bout your bottom is you make it. If you have had enough of being controled by your drug of choice, and are ready to quit than you can. Stick with the AA and participate in the meetings. Prayers are with you and much love.....

[tat2duser]

Loga - Listen....you don't hafta sit here and 'bond' with everyone to be a part of the family....just by being here you already are!! Lets face it, some people feel a little more secure just kinda lurking and reading, some like to post to get their feelings out. Whichever the case, you are one of us - and not any less or any more than any of the rest of us.

Please forgive me if I'm not up on your whole story, but what is your D.O.C.?? How may and how often do you use? If it's opiates that is your demon, have you ever tried to get Sub?? It worked wonders for me whe I needed it most.... You seem like you already have it in your head that you wanna stop - now you need to muster up the strength to just do it! Yes, it's hard as hell as I'm sure you know....but life without the crap is SO much better.

So please, stick around - keep us up to date on how you're doing, and reach deep inside and find all that's good in your life - all that's worth living clean for.... If you reach deep enough, you will surely find the answers....and the strength.

God bless.

tat*

[logalind]

vikes and Ultram are my D.O.C. This is my first relapse. It is hell I feel I can't tell anyone. the stresses of life are hell I was going to meetings but I stopped sharing honestly. Hid alot of my hurt cuz I felt I shouldn't feel the way I was feeling. Self will run riot. I haven't slept in a couple days and I am really feeling it. I went to work today, got that out of the way. thank God I am just waiting for 2:30 to go to my NA meeting. I gotta go and get something to eat b4 the meeting.

Thanks for your support it means the world to me.

Lori